Musings of an Old Chemist

A Chemist's Perspective on the Habits and Skills STEM Students Need For Success

Tag: expectations

  • Unlocking Your Personal Growth: Motivations and Expectations

    Unlocking Your Personal Growth: Motivations and Expectations

    Throughout our lives, we are constantly asked, “What do you want to do?” “What are your goals?” and “What do you expect to achieve?” These aren’t just questions in a job interview or at a parent-teacher conference; they are at the heart of our motivations and expectations.

    Motivations: The Source of Your Personal Growth Blueprint

    Motivations are the “why” behind your work. Think of them as the desire that inspires you as the architect of your personal growth —the deep, personal reasons you to start your personal growth journey in the first place.

    Why do you wake up every morning and choose to work hard? Is it to solve a problem that fascinates you, to help others, for financial security, or to gain recognition? The reasons we tackle any task are our motivations. Knowing what truly motivates you is the difference between building a life that fulfills you and simply going through the motions. Without understanding your motivations, you risk creating a blueprint that someone else designed for you, leaving you feeling empty even after you’ve “finished” the job. Your motivations are your fuel. They provide the passion and perseverance necessary to overcome challenges and bring a vision to life.

    Intrinsic Motivation

    Intrinsic motivation is deeply personal and originates from within us. It is a dynamic force that drives us to participate in activities simply for the joy and satisfaction they bring. This type of motivation is closely tied to our dreams and aspirations. It is what pushes us to achieve personal goals, pursue our passions, and continuously work to improve ourselves. When you’re driven by what you truly want and value, not just other people’s demands, you feel in control and that you’re making your own choices.

    Extrinsic Motivation

    On the other hand, extrinsic motivation comes from outside influences and the rewards they offer. You do the activity not because you enjoy it, but because of what you’ll get from it, whether that’s something you can touch or something less tangible. These benefits could include things like grades, praise, recognition, money, or social status. While extrinsic motivation can be a useful tool for achieving specific goals, it is important to recognize that it can also have its limitations. If we completely rely on extrinsic motivation, not on our desires and expectations, it can leave us feeling unsatisfied, empty, even though we have achieved the benefits we were seeking.

    How They Relate to Each Other

    What really drives us comes from both intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. We might do things just because they make us feel good or because we’re curious (that’s intrinsic). Or, we might do things for external reasons, like getting a bonus or to get an “A” on a report card (that’s extrinsic). Usually, it’s a mix of both. Take getting a master’s degree, for instance, you might want the opportunity to learn and grow (intrinsic), but you may also think about the better job opportunities the degree provides and the more money you can make (extrinsic).

    Striking a balance between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation is often the key to achieving long-term success and happiness. While external rewards can provide a temporary boost, it is the internal drive and passion that sustains us over time. It is important to cultivate your intrinsic motivation by identifying activities that you genuinely enjoy and find meaningful. This may involve exploring our interests, discovering your passions, and setting personal goals that align with your values.

    To truly understand our motivations, we must also practice the art of self-reflection. This means asking yourself tough questions about what drives you, what rewards are you seeking, and if your motivations align with your fundamental values. As you grow, your motivations change, so it’s an ongoing process. You’ll need to regularly check if what drives you still aligns with your goals and helps you feel good overall.

    When we get to know ourselves better and understand what really motivates us, we can make smarter decisions, set goals that truly matter, and live a life that feels more deliberate and fulfilling. Just remember, real motivation comes from within, and that inner drive is what helps us reach our full potential.

    Expectations: The Specifications of Your Personal Growth Blueprint

    While motivations explain the “why,” expectations clarify the “what” and “how much,” serving as precise specifications on a blueprint. Expectations come from two sources: external expectations, which are standards set by others, like our parents’ expectations for us or a boss’s performance objectives, which represents what the world anticipates from you. Internal expectations, which are the standards you impose on yourself, such as desired grades, work quality, or personal values, representing the standards you uphold for yourself.

    As the architect of your personal growth, you must be keenly aware of both. You cannot build a solid structure without a clear plan. Your expectations provide the necessary direction and the measurable goals that turn your motivations into real actions.

    External Motivations

    Throughout our lives, external expectations are placed upon us by others. During childhood and our teenage years, these expectations primarily come from parents and teachers, who set standards for how well we do in school, our behavior, and how we act in social settings. As we enter adulthood, the sources of external expectations broaden to include employers, people we work with, friends, partners, and society in general. These can include a wide range of areas, such as our career success, being stable financially, our relationships, and meeting society’s expectations.

    It’s great to get guidance and motivation from others, but remember that what others expect isn’t always what we really want or value. Trying to make everyone happy can leave you feeling overwhelmed, not good enough, and like you’ve lost control. It’s important to figure out which external expectations are worth chasing and which ones you should politely pass on, always putting your own well-being and personal growth first.

    Internal Expectations

    Our internal expectations originate from our personal values, goals, and aspirations, reflecting our beliefs about our capabilities. These internal expectations span various aspects of life, including personal growth, career success, healthy living, our relationships, and our creative pursuits. While they can be a powerful motivator, driving us to excel, it’s vital that that our internal expectations remain realistic.

    Let’s be honest, most of us, myself included, have at some point in our lives created unrealistic expectations about how quickly we should be able to master something – studying for an exam, getting a promotion, completing a training course. Perhaps it’s “I expect to be paid ‘x’ number of dollars for working as a (fill in the blank) because they’re lucky to have me.” Or, “I shouldn’t have to start at the bottom and work my way up, because they’re lucky to have me.”

    Unattainable standards or expecting instant success can lead to frustration and a sense of failure. It is crucial to be patient with yourself, practice self-compassion, acknowledge that progress requires time and effort, remember to embrace a growth mindset, and celebrate minor achievements to keep motivated.

    How They Relate to Each Other

    What we expect from ourselves often comes from outside sources like what society tells us, educational standards, and seeing what other people have achieved. It’s important to know yourself and your aspirations, and consider just where these expectations come from. Do they actually fit with what we value and love, or are we just trying to please others and get their approval?

    How we feel about ourselves, our self-worth, and self-esteem really gets shaped by a combination of what we expect of ourselves and what others expect of us. When we meet or even go beyond those expectations, it feels great. But if we miss the mark, it can lead to feeling down, ashamed, or just not good enough.

    Remember that your value as a person isn’t tied to always meeting every expectation, whether it’s something we put on ourselves or something someone else expects. You’re growing and changing all the time, and hitting roadblocks or messing up is just part of the deal. By being kind to yourself, accepting who you are, and focusing on what truly drives you from the inside, you can build a strong sense of self-worth that will stick with you, no matter what others think or how much pressure we feel.

    The Role of Our Aspirations

    Knowing what you want, your aspirations, is key to setting your own expectations. When your expectations come from inside you, they lead to lasting happiness. But if they’re just based on what others think, that happiness won’t stick around. To find balance, make sure your goals match your aspirations, what you truly important to you. Be proud of what you achieve, even if no one else is cheering, and be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Always put your values, passions, and goals first.

    Motivations, Expectations, and Your Blueprint for Personal Growth

    The true strength of motivations and expectations is how they interact with each other. Motivations provide vision and energy, while expectations offer the set of instructions on our blueprint for personal growth.

    Personal growth occurs when your internal motivations are in harmony with your chosen expectations. This alignment is key to truly designing your growth blueprint. For example, if you love helping people, you might volunteer or work in public service. Or, if you’re motivated to become an expert, you’ll naturally keep learning and improving your skills.

    Remember, in the end, life is not just about ticking off a bunch of external boxes on a to-do list. It’s about really understanding what drives you and then picking goals that help you build a life that feels truly meaningful and personal.

  • Navigating Expectations for Personal Growth

    Navigating Expectations for Personal Growth

    Imagine trying to build a house, but everyone around you has a different blueprint for what it should look like. That’s often what personal growth feels like. Our parents, teachers, mentors, bosses – each brings their own blueprint, their own vision for our success. We often feel like our lives are a reaction to what others want from us. They tell us what we “should” do, what we “could” become, and what they “expect” from us. These figures in our lives have their own perspectives, their unique viewpoint, shaped by their experiences, beliefs, values, and career paths. For example, a parent’s perspective on your career might be shaped by their own experiences with financial matters or their view on traditional career opportunities. And their expectations for us often stem from their motivations (e.g., love, a desire for our success, ot perhaps their unfulfilled dreams, or their understanding of “what works”).

    Yet, the story of our success – or our struggle – isn’t decided solely by these external expectations. It’s profoundly shaped by the intricate connection between their perspective, our perception of that perspective, the expectations that emerge, and ultimately, our motivation to meet (or redefine) them. 

    Perception is how you interpret or make sense of what you see, hear, or experience. It’s your internal processing of information received. So, while your parent has a perspective on your career, your perception of their advice might be that it’s supportive, or controlling, or outdated, depending on your internal filters. It’s how you receive and understand something based on your unique emotional viewpoint.

    If we see these expectations as fair, supportive, and in line with our dreams, for example: “They care about me,” “This expectation is good for my growth.” We’re more likely to accept and respect them. This positive outlook can then really motivate us, inspiring us to work towards meeting those expectations and reaching shared goals. 

    On the flip side, if we see these expectations as unfair, unrealistic, or manipulative, for example:  “They’re being unfair,” “They don’t understand me”, our reaction can be totally different. Such a negative view can lead to feeling resentful, like we’re being controlled, and ultimately, a lack of motivation. In these cases, what started as an external push for our personal growth can turn into an emotional barrier, holding us back and making us feel unsatisfied. 

    Several other factors influence our ability to perceive, interpret, and respond to external expectations:

    Our self-perception, which includes our self-esteem, confidence, and past successes or failures, significantly filters these expectations. For instance, having low self-esteem can cause even positive expectations to feel like criticism or an unachievable burden.

    The timing and our stage of personal growth also play a crucial role. An expectation that might be welcomed at one point in life could be resented at another, depending on our maturity, the context, and other life circumstances.

    Finally, how expectations are communicated is crucial. A dictatorial approach (“You must do this my way,” or “Because I told you so.”) will be perceived very differently than a supportive conversation, drastically altering our reception of external expectations.

    This complex relationship between perspective, perception, expectation, and motivation is the very foundation upon which we build our future, layer by layer, brick by self-chosen brick. In a world full of blueprints laid out by others, understanding how these four elements collide within us is the secret to becoming the true architect of our personal growth building.

    Personal Commentary

    A common theme that I heard during the time I was tutoring students, and even from my grandchildren when talking with them about their classes, was their perception of their teachers and their teacher’s expectations for them.. It seemed that if their teacher’s expectations required them to follow strict guidelines as far as classroom behavior, no talking or no cell phones, for example, or the timely submission of homework to receive full credit, then the teacher was being “mean.” And, I imagine the same concept applied when our parents said we had a certain curfew and they held us accountable when we were home late; were they being “mean”? If we had a brother or sister who got to do something that we weren’t allowed to do because they were older or there were special circumstances were our parents being “mean” then as well? And as we become adults and enter the workforce, if we submit a request for certain vacation days and our supervisor denies it for whatever reason, are they just being”mean”? 

    How we perceive situations that don’t go our way, or there are expectations for us that we disagree with, whether it is for our behavior or our performance, as a son or daughter, as a student in the classroom, or the workplace, is critical to our success in life. 

    I never struggled when it came to my perception of what my parents or my teachers expected of me. It was a combination of respect and fear as it pertained to my parents; I could not bear to disappoint them for fear of the consequences. I spent most of my life trying to meet the expectations of others. It’s only in the later years of my career when I admit my arrogance and sense of self-importance led me to question or rebel against the expectations of others above me. Never perceiving them as being “mean”, but simply that their expectations and requirements did not apply when it came to me, which is even worse. 

    So if you’ll allow me to make the following observation based upon my years of experience, my successes, and my failures. When dealing with someone’s expectations for you, regardless of the circumstances, see it as an opportunity for growth. Before you react, ask yourself why these expectations exist, and how you can utilize the situation to make you better, as a student, an employee, or as a son or daughter. You are the architect of your personal growth and only you are responsible for creating your blueprint for success.

  • The Key Components Of Personal Growth

    The Key Components Of Personal Growth

    Personal growth is a journey. It’s about learning who you are, understanding what’s important to you, and how you change/evolve as a person over time. It’s about striving to become the best version of yourself. While personal growth is a very complex topic, for the sake of this discussion, we will break it down into two major categories: inner growth (dreams, aspirations, goals) and outer growth (acquiring knowledge, learning skills, developing personal relationships). 

    The best way that I can describe it, is to imagine personal growth as a house (see figure above). Inner growth consists of the foundation of the house and the supporting walls, while outer growth represents what’s called the capstone, the roof of the building. The stability of this metaphorical building, what we can achieve (outer growth), depends on the strength our inner growth providing with its foundation and support.

    What is Inner Growth?

    Inner growth is strictly about you, and everyone’s journey looks different. Don’t get caught up comparing yourself to others, since everyone’s got their own way of doing things. Inner growth is not simply about grades, awards, or recognition. Instead, put your focus on learning about yourself and developing your own, individual strength of character, seeking inner peace and feeling good about who you are as a person.

    Inner growth is getting better at understanding your emotions, handling tough times, and knowing yourself really well. You’ve got to take the time to figure out your thoughts, feelings, what you’re good at, where you’re not so good, and what drives you. By taking the time recognizing these things, you can pinpoint what’s really important to you, learning to deal with times when you’re stressed, and getting better at shaking off disappointments. At the end of the day, this inner work builds your confidence and gives you a real sense of direction, which sets you up for personal success.

    The 3 Layers of the Inner Growth Foundation

    Dreams

    Dreams, the base layer of our personal growth “foundation”, are fueled by our imagination,  constantly pushing us toward a future that that we believe is better than our current situation. They encompass our hopes and desires, motivating us to strive for ambitious goals. Our dreams focus on emotional fulfillment, what will make us feel “good” or an ideal outcome rather than how practical it is to achieve it. Our dreams evolve as we age, shaped by our experiences and perspectives. As children, we might dream of material possessions like toys; as we grow older, our dreams may shift towards education, career, and personal achievements – we may desire a dream job for example. In our later years, our dreams may center around retirement plans and leisure activities. Regardless of our age, dreams remain a driving force, moving us forward and inspiring us to reach our full potential.

    Aspirations

    Aspirations serve as a bridge between our dreams and real life. They are more practical than dreams because they are grounded in reality, taking into account our talents and abilities, our available resources, and the limits of our situation. While your dreams may often feel distant and unattainable, aspirations are achievable within a specific, realistic timeframe.

    Aspirations involve breaking down our grand visions and dreams into smaller, more manageable tasks and goals, providing a clear, more manageable path toward our desired outcomes.

    Similar to dreams, aspirations are not set in stone; they are flexible and adaptable. As we age, our abilities and skills progress and circumstances change, our aspirations can be adjusted and redirected to achieve our evolving goals and priorities. However, unlike dreams, which can sometimes be vague and undefined, aspirations focus on specific objectives, providing us with a sense of direction and purpose.

    The process of setting and pursuing aspirations involves self-reflection and self-awareness. It requires us to assess our strengths and weaknesses, identify our values and passions, and understand our limitations. By setting realistic and achievable aspirations, we can create a sense of motivation and momentum, propelling us forward on our journey toward personal and professional success.

    Goals

    Essentially, goals act like a guide to achieving what you want. They turn big dreams and aspirations into things you can actually work on. By creating specific goals, you get clear steps and ways to see how you’re doing. This not only helps you reach your targets but also keeps you excited and on track.

    “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

    African Proverb

    Once you have established a particular goal, the next step is to break down the process of achieving that goal into actionable steps or tasks. This is how we actually get things done. They’re the plan we use to turn our goals into reality.

    These steps tell us what to do and help us see how far we’ve come. Each completed step feels like a win and keeps us going. Plus, we can change things up as we go, adapting to whatever happens.

    Adding these steps to our goals means we’re not just dreaming, we’re doing. We feel more in control and less overwhelmed. Basically, actionable steps are what pushes us to succeed, turning ideas into real results.

    The Columns: Motivations and Expectations

    Motivations

    The reasons we take on any task are our motivations. They represent the underlying “why” that propels us towards our desired outcomes. Our motivations can be broken down into two categories: intrinsic, coming from from internal factors like a need to feel good about ourselves or our natural curiosity, or extrinsic, arising from external factors like our financial needs, a search for personal recognition or rewards, or social pressure. In many cases, our motivations are a blend of both. For instance, your decision to attend graduate school and pursue a master degree could be motivated by your desire for personal growth or a passion for learning (intrinsic), or the requirements of your career path, better job options, and higher earnings (extrinsic). Or perhaps a combination of both.

    Understanding our motivations requires us to recognize the importance and the need to practice self-awareness. Self-awareness involves honestly asking ourselves what is it that truly drives us, what rewards we seek, and whether our motivations coincide with what type of person we want to be known as. It is an ongoing process, as our motivations can evolve and shift depending on our circumstances. It is crucial for us to regularly evaluate our motivations in light of our aspirations and goals, ensuring that they remain aligned and supportive of our chosen path and overall personal well-being.

    By cultivating self-awareness and understanding our motivations, we can make more informed decisions, set meaningful goals, and live a more purposeful and fulfilling life. Remember, true motivation comes from within us, and it is our internal drive that ultimately propels us towards our greatest potential.

    Expectations

    Expectations also play a pivotal role in shaping our lives, influencing our decisions, actions, and overall well-being. Like our motivations, our expectations can be broadly classified into two main categories: external and internal.

    Both internal and external expectations play a significant role in shaping our self-worth and self-esteem. When we meet or exceed these expectations, we experience a sense of accomplishment and pride. However, when we fall short, we may feel disappointed, ashamed, or inadequate. It is essential to remember that our worth is not dependent on meeting all expectations, whether they are extrinsic, someone else’s expectations for us (such as those from parents, teachers, or friends) or intrinsic, expectations we impose on ourselves. We are all works in progress, and setbacks and failures are an inevitable part of our journey of personal growth. By practicing self-acceptance – understanding we are not perfect, being patient and compassionate with ourselves, and focusing on our internal motivations, we can develop a sense of self-worth that is not easily swayed by trying to please others or non-realistic expectations we may hold for ourselves.

    Personal Commentary

    Let’s be honest, most of us, myself included, have at some point in our lives created unrealistic expectations about how quickly we should be able to accomplish something – studying for an exam, getting a promotion, completing a training course. Perhaps it’s “I expect to be paid ‘x’ number of dollars for working as a (fill in the blank) because they’re lucky to have me.” Or, “I shouldn’t have to start at the bottom and work my way up, because they’re lucky to have me.”

    Growing up I put all my effort into meeting the expectation of others, especially my parents, while neglecting the other supporting components of the personal growth building . My dream to attend medical school and become a doctor was totally based on my parents expectations. I never had anyone talk with me about aspirations or how to set and act on goals. My motivations were entirely external, again meeting my parents expectations. Everything I accomplished – science fair awards, winning speech contest entries, and my Eagle Scout award was to please my parents.And it all came crashing down for me when I left home for college.

    The first semester of my freshman year at college I had two science courses, PS 11, Introduction to Physics with a Lab and Organic 1. Due to my sheer arrogance, being extremely overconfident in my knowledge of the subjects, my lack of study skills and having never written a research paper in my life, I received a “D” in both classes. My accumulative grade point average for the semester was a 2.0. All my dreams of attending medical school, meeting my parent’s expectations were flushed down the proverbial toilet. My sense of self worth, again based on pleasing my parents, was severely shaken. I lost all my self-confidence and considered not going back to college for the winter semester.

    Now I’m not saying that trying to meet your parent’s expectations is a bad thing, but it should only be part of your makeup, everything needs to be in balance, I should have developed internal motivations, understanding what truly made me happy, recognizing where my passions truly were and acting on them. Building on those passions a sense of self-worth that could not be shaken even when faced with adversity.

    The Roof: Outer Growth

    Think of the roof of your personal growth building,outer growth, like the tip of an iceberg, with all your hard work hidden beneath the surface. It’s the payoff for all the time you’ve spent learning, practicing self-awareness, sharpening your skills, and solidifying your beliefs. Every win, whether it’s success in the classroom, your college or graduate degree, a job promotion, your contributions to a community project, or taking care of yourself by forming a healthy habits, is clear proof of the significant inner growth happening.

    Plus, the positive impact you make goes beyond your personal wins, creating a ripple effect on those around you, your classmates, your coworkers, and the broader community. This could be through mentoring fellow classmates, your leadership in the classroom, in athletics, or your workplace, by giving back to others less fortunate than you, or just inspiring others with how you live. The consistent behaviors you adopt, like discipline, resilience, empathy, compassion, and integrity, become deep-seated habits that naturally lead to better outcomes. These aren’t temporary, transient, efforts your part; you’re building lasting qualities that fuel your ongoing growth.

    Ultimately, outward growth is a dynamic and continuous journey, changing as your inner self grows and deepens. It proves the power of aligning your self-awareness and personal beliefs with your actions, showing that true satisfaction, lifetime achievements, and meaningful impact on those around you naturally follow from a strong inner growth foundation.

  • The Power of Mindset: Growth and Fixed Perspectives

    The Power of Mindset: Growth and Fixed Perspectives

    What is a “Mindset”?

    The term “Mindset” refers to the attitudes, beliefs, and thoughts we hold about ourselves and our capabilities. It shapes how we perceive ourselves, face challenges, and interact with the world. This internal outlook significantly influences our approach to learning, work, relationships, and life in general.

    The Origin of Mindset Concepts

    Dr. Carol S. Dweck, a Stanford University psychologist, developed the concepts of fixed and growth mindsets. Her research began in the late 1980s, focusing on how children respond to academic challenges. She observed two distinct mindsets: a fixed mindset, children faced with challenges gave up easily, and a growth mindset where children saw the challenges as opportunities to learn.

    Dr. Dweck’s research demonstrated the powerful influence on our motivation for learning, and how resilient we are across various aspects of our lives. Her book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” (2006), popularized these concepts.Dr. Dweck’s work has significantly affected psychology, education, and business, emphasizing the importance of our beliefs and perceptions in shaping our potential. 

    Comparison and : Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset

    Someone who embraces a growth mindset sees every hurdle, every mistake, and every piece of constructive criticism as invaluable feedback, a chance to sharpen their skills, broaden their understanding, and expand their horizons. They thrive on challenges, relishing the process of overcoming them, understanding that it is in the struggle, in the effort, that true growth resides. They are resilient, persistent, and view setbacks not as failures, but as learning curves, temporary detours on their journey toward mastery. They ask themselves, “What can I learn from this?” and “How can I improve?”

    Someone with a fixed mindset might view identical challenges as intimidating, even overwhelming barriers. They operate under the assumption that their inherited skills and intelligence are unchanging; whatever natural gifts they possess should ensure life success, requiring no additional effort. Consequently, they readily surrender when confronted with difficulties, driven by a fear of failure that could expose their shortcomings, frequently choosing only tasks they are confident of completing easily. They dismiss what they perceive as negative feedback, even when intended as constructive criticism, and they often feel threatened by the accomplishments of others. This need to project an image of competence compels those with a fixed mindset to avoid any risk whatsoever, thereby stifling their creativity and, ultimately, hindering their potential.

    This fundamental difference in perspective profoundly impacts one’s approach to learning, work, relationships, and life in general. 

    In the area of academics: 

    Students with a growth mindset believe their intelligence and abilities can be improved through hard work and dedication. They see mistakes as learning opportunities, and they persist through difficult subjects. They think, “I didn’t do well on this test yet, but I can study harder and improve next time.”

    However, students with a fixed mindset believe their intelligence and abilities are fixed. They avoid challenges for fear of failure and give up easily. They might think, “I’m just not good at math,” after a bad grade. Or, more commonly, they perceive their teacher to be mean, having unfair expectations.

    In extracurricular activities:

    Students with a growth mindset understand the importance of and focus on practice and learning, even if they don’t succeed initially. They see setbacks as opportunities to improve. They believe that effort creates talent.

    However, students with a fixed mindset avoid trying if they don’t feel naturally talented or quit easily if they face difficulties.

    In relationships and social settings:

    Students with growth mindset are open to meeting new people, understanding different perspectives, and working through disagreements.

    Students with a fixed mindset are less likely to step out of their comfort zone or struggle with criticism and conflict.

    Commentary

    When there’s a setback, someone with a fixed mindset will start thinking, ‘Maybe I don’t have what it takes?’ They may get defensive and give up. A hallmark of a successful person is that they persist in the face of obstacles, and often, these obstacles are blessings in disguise.

    Carol S. Dweck

    I encourage you not to give up, and not to get defensive, because you do have what it takes. The key is changing your mindset, your perspective. The question now becomes: “How do we change our perspective from a fixed to a growth mindset?” It is not an easy process, especially if you are older, like me, and have had a fixed mindset for a long time. It begins with the understanding of the fundamental difference between the two. Once we have identified and understand the characteristics, we must take action, invest in the process of changing how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. It is important to prioritize effort, it’s hard work, and understand that your effort leads to expertise.

    A great place to start is changing the way you address challenges, replacing “I can’t” with “I can” or I can’t yet.” This small change reflects a belief in yourself and your potential to improve. I urge you to be patient with yourself and persistent; mindset growth is a journey with ups and downs. True growth takes time. 

    The next step is difficult and requires a significant change in our perspective, recognizing that we are not perfect, admitting that we have our weaknesses, and that we make mistakes. Then put in the effort to analyze your mistakes as lessons, not failures. Value the process of learning from mistakes and setbacks as essential components of progress.

    I believe it is important to focus on “deep”  learning, not quick results. In college, I coined the phrase: “memorization then regurgitation” for those students who would memorize whatever was required for a test but never retain the knowledge past the end of the semester. I’ll admit my brain does not work that way. I needed to truly understand the material, much of which I still remember to this day, 45 years later. So the lesson in this is, instead of fixating on achieving a specific result, a certain test score, direct your energy towards acquiring knowledge, honing your abilities, and refining your strategies along the way. 

    Lastly, embrace personal accountability, take full responsibility for your actions, decisions, and their subsequent consequences. Shift your perspective from viewing yourself as a victim of circumstance to empowering yourself as a creator of your reality. Once again, this is not an easy task, especially if you’ve had this perception of yourself and your circumstances for an extended period of time, in some cases years. But, you can do it.