Musings of an Old Chemist

A Chemist's Perspective on the Habits and Skills STEM Students Need For Success

Tag: motivation

  • Essential Skills for Success in STEM: Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, Resilience

    Essential Skills for Success in STEM: Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, Resilience

    You may be doing well in your math and science courses, or perhaps you’re already interested in areas such as computer programming, robotics, or video game design. While a passion for STEM and strong academic performance are certainly vital, true success in these fields requires more than just intelligence.

    The key drivers—the qualities that will propel you through challenging projects, demanding courses, and even career setbacks—are the four absolutely vital tools in your personal growth toolkit for anyone charting a course in STEM: Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, and Resilience.

    What is Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, and Resilience? 

    1. Initiative

    What it is: The ability to self-start, take action without being told, and seek out new opportunities or skills.

    Why it matters in STEM: The STEM fields are constantly evolving. What you learn today may be outdated in five years. Initiative is crucial for lifelong learning—the willingness to constantly teach yourself new skills (computer programming, robotics, advanced data analysis, or new analytical instrumentation) to remain current and competitive in the industry.

    When performing research or problem-solving, it takes initiative to troubleshoot errors, design a better experiment, or learn to use a new piece of equipment before it’s required. It’s what drives you to excel.

    Example: Your Chemistry professor assigns an open-ended laboratory project. The explicit expectation is a successful, unique final product. You must show the initiative to search for resources, organize the necessary equipment and reagents, and learn to operate the necessary tools needed to complete the project because the assignment demands it, not just because you feel like it.

    2. Resolve

    What it is: A firm determination to achieve a specific goal, resisting distractions, and maintaining focus even when things get tough. The unwavering focus needed to complete a difficult project, solve a complex equation, or commit to the years of study required for a specialized field of study.

    Why it matters in STEM: STEM fields demand long-term commitment. Resolve is what helps you stay committed to completing that difficult assignment, even when exhaustion hits. Push through a difficult physics derivation, knowing the understanding will unlock new perspectives. See past a frustrating semester or a challenging first-year chemistry, physics, or math course, reminding you of your ultimate career aspirations. It’s the inner conviction that keeps you on track.

    Example: Introductory college courses, such as Organic Chemistry, Physics, and Calculus, are often intentionally challenging to test your preparedness to succeed in upper level courses. When faced with a low grade, resolve is the quality that prevents you from abandoning your major. Initiative is the drive to seek out help by finding a tutor, joining a study group, or meeting with the professor to grasp the material you do not understand, instead of simply giving up.

    3. Perseverance

    What it is: The sustained effort to keep working despite difficulties, serving as the dedication required to solve tough problems through hours of calculations, research, or repeated experiments. It’s the long-term, consistent effort.

    Why it matters in STEM: STEM is rarely a straight line to success. Perseverance means spending countless hours debugging computer programming, even when you’re convinced it’s flawless. Re-running an experiment five times because you’re confident there’s a pattern you’re missing. Staying up late to understand a complex mathematical concept until it finally clicks.

    Example: You struggle with a Chemistry laboratory assignment and are tempted to give up. Your instructor intervenes, not by giving you the answer, but by offering a small suggestion, confirming the difficulty of the task, and requiring you to follow up in an hour. This structured support prevents you from feeling abandoned in your efforts, reinforces the importance of struggle, and teaches you the value of perseverance.

    While the ultimate decision to continue is yours, external factors, the support from your instructor, are essential. The setting of an expectation, the modelling of how to continue in the process, and the structured support act as powerful motivations, transforming your ability to just keep going into an established, automatic behavior (perseverance).

    4. Resilience

    What it is: The capacity to recover quickly from setbacks, disappointments, or outright failures, viewing setbacks not as defining moments but as valuable data and learning opportunities. 

    Why it matters in STEM: Failure isn’t a setback in STEM; it’s a feature. Scientific discovery often involves many “failed” experiments before a breakthrough. Resilience allows you to: bounce back from a low test score, analyze what went wrong, and adjust your study habits.

    Example: It can be challenging for you to picture what “resilience” looks like. Mentors provide a crucial model. When you witness your research advisor’s experiment fail, and instead of getting discouraged, your advisor calmly analyzes the data, identifies the potential sources of error, and immediately starts correcting the issues for the next trial run. These actions model resilience and teaches you how to respond appropriately to setbacks.

    STEM fields are characterized by constant challenges and an emphasis on complex problem-solving. Success relies less on your natural talent and more on your willingness to engage in a productive learning process. And that success rarely comes on the first try. It is common for an experiment to produce unexpected results or a mathematical proof to contain an error. Instead of seeing these setbacks as personal shortcomings, students need the mindsets of resilience and perseverance to see a failure as a starting point.

    Is Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, and Resilience a Personality Trait or a Learned Skill?

    Initiative, resolve, perseverance, and resilience are generally understood as learned behaviors. Psychologists like Carol Dweck argue that these qualities stem from a Growth Mindset—the belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed, rather than a fixed personality trait.  While some people might appear naturally more determined to manage and learn from their struggles, everyone has the capacity to develop these essential skills. 

    Think of initiative, resolve, perseverance, and resilience as learned skills that, when practiced consistently, become an integral, defining part of your character or personality. For a STEM student, it is critical to recognize the value in treating them as skills that require deliberate practice.

    The Power of Role Models, Mentors, and External Expectations

    The skills of initiative, resolve, perseverance, and resilience isn’t something you can achieve entirely on your own, however you can always begin the process. The most effective and the smoothest path to growth in these areas requires external guidance. Role models, mentors, and the right external expectations act as a vital catalyst in forging these qualities.

    How do role models, mentors, and external expectations cultivate these critical skills? Here are four key examples:

    Observation: Professors, Mentors, and Role Models provide critical “how-to” knowledge. Observing an experienced chemist handle an instrument failure calmly or a scientist gracefully accept and learn from a failed experiment offers a real-world demonstration of resilience and perseverance in action.

    Accountability: External expectations, whether it is from a professor, mentor, or a course syllabus, establish defined goals and deadlines that require action. Taking on a challenging project with its external pressures, its deadlines and reporting requirements, serves as a catalyst. It triggers the initiative needed to start and, crucially, builds the internal resolve and strength required for sustained effort toward completion.

    A Defined Strategy for Success: Effective teachers and mentors avoid simply giving answers. Instead, they offer focused, constructive feedback, guide individuals through roadblocks, and recognize small achievements. This strategic support reinforces successful behaviors, driving long-term competence and success.

    Reinforcement and Feedback: These critical skills are only learned effectively when you receive balanced feedback from your professors and mentors, parents as well – positive reinforcement when you suceed and constructive criticism when you fall short. 

    A Strategy for Your Personal Growth and Success

    As you navigate your academic life and plan for a career in science, technology, engineering, or math, your focus must extend beyond formulas and facts. You need to actively look for opportunities to develop your initiative, resolve, perseverance, and resilience. So take action with the following approach:

    1. Embrace the Hard Stuff: Never shy away from difficult assignments or complex projects. Challenges are opportunities in disguise.

    2. Treat Failures as Data: Every setback is not an end, but a valuable data point. Analyze what went wrong and adjust your approach.

    3. Actively Seek Mentors: Find someone whose approach to challenges inspires you, and commit to learning from their wisdom and experience.

    4. Practice Self-Reflection: When things get tough, take a moment to ask yourself: How did I react? What could I do differently next time?

    Conclusion

    These qualities are not just career buzzwords; they are the foundation of personal growth and the essential fuel for scientific discovery and innovation. The combination of strong grades and these four psychological attributes is what ultimately separates a good student from future success in their career path, capable of making a difference in a STEM field. Cultivate them, and you will do more than just succeed in STEM; you will thrive in every aspect of your life.

  • Self-assessment Exercise Three: Identifying Your Expectations and Beliefs

    Self-assessment Exercise Three: Identifying Your Expectations and Beliefs

    For your consideration:

    “Lower expectations do not lead to happiness, no matter how often they are met.”

    – Michael Jordan

    Introduction

    Honest self-reflection is a precursor to self-awareness and the starting point for our discussion of personal growth. To start to know yourself, you need to consider who you are and what’s important to you at this point in your life. This is the third of four exercises designed to encourage you to take the time to think about and identify your goals and motivations. This exercise is designed to help you understand the forces driving your pursuit of a key personal or professional goal. It may help you know yourself better, figure out your goals, and make more informed decisions about your future. It may also help you to develop a stronger sense of purpose and direction in life. 

    Key Points to Remember

    • Be honest with yourself; there are no right or wrong answers, and no judgment is attached to your responses.
    • Take your time with these exercises, thinking about what is important to you and why.
    • As you work through each prompt, take a moment to record your thoughts. These reflections serve as a valuable resource when developing self-awareness.

    Expectations and Beliefs

    Description of the Types of Expectations

    Expectations can be broadly categorized into two types: internal (intrinsic) and external (extrinsic). While there are subtle distinctions between internal and intrinsic, and external and extrinsic, for clarity in this explanation, I will group them together.

    Internal (intrinsic) Expectations

    Internal (Intrinsic) expectations originate within you. These are the personal standards that influence your behavior, performance, and character. They can take various forms. These might include physical goals, such as training for a marathon; a commitment to daily habits like a 10-minute meditation; value-based principles like kindness and honesty; or quality standards, such as the expectation that your work will be perfect when you submit it.

    Your motivation to meet these expectations stems from intrinsic factors such as your personal values, ambitions, self-worth, and the desire for self-improvement. The primary reason is often the desire to meet your own standards for mastering new content or ideas, exploring your passions and interests, your process of personal growth, and a sense of satisfaction. For instance, you might set an expectation to practice the guitar for an hour daily, motivated purely by the love of improving and the music itself, finding your reward in the satisfaction you receive from the activity.

    External (extrinsic) Expectations

    External (extrinsic) expectations originate from outside yourself. They are standards, rules, or requests set by other people, your parents, friends, coworkers, or society in general. For example: a deadline for a project (either in class or at work), your parents or a spouse’s request for you to do a specific household chore, a job description or class syllabus listing how your performance at work or class will be measured, or perhaps a societal standard on how you “should” behave, dress, or define success to be accepted. At its core, with external (extrinsic) expectations, your primary desire is often to meet the standards of others.

    Accountability to others, the pursuit of rewards like promotions or praise, and the avoidance of negative consequences such as disapproval from parents, friends, or bosses, poor grades, or losing a job, are often key internal (intrinsic) motivators for meeting external expectations. External (extrinsic) motivations, by comparison, are generally less fluid and flexible because changing the expectations of others requires you to negotiate the terms of the expectations and seek agreement with another person.

    Bottom Line 

    Your expectations need to be realistic and attainable, plus align with your personal goals and ambitions. You must remain true to yourself and your beliefs and core values, regardless of how difficult it may seem at times. Negotiating expectations is a major component of the personal growth process.

    Prompts

    Prompt #1: 

    Whose expectations have the strongest influence on your life, and that you feel obligated to meet? Are they aligned with your own beliefs and desires? How do you manage those expectations and stay true to your dreams and goals?

    Prompt #2:

    List three things you expect from yourself (for example, I expect myself to spend 30 minutes each day writing). How do these expectations impact your daily decisions and actions? Does meeting your expectations give you self-confidence and encourage you to do more? Or do these expectations overwhelm you? 

    Prompt #3: 

    Think about a recent time when you exceeded an expectation. Did you take time to acknowledge and celebrate that success? If not, why? Recognizing your “wins” is an important component of self-care.

    Prompt #4:

    Think about your expectations for others (friends, family, or people in general). Are these expectations realistic and attainable? How do they align with what you expect from yourself, your goals, and your beliefs? 

    Up Next: Practicing the Art of Self-reflection and Evaluating Your Openness for Change 

    The last set of prompts, part four of the series, will ask you to practice the art of self-reflection and evaluate your openness for change.

  • Self-assessment Exercise One: Identifying Your Dreams and Aspirations

    Self-assessment Exercise One: Identifying Your Dreams and Aspirations

    For your consideration:

    “The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.”

    – Joel Brown

    Introduction

    Honest self-reflection is a precursor to self-awareness and the starting point for our discussion of personal growth. To start to know yourself, you need to consider who you are and what’s important to you at this point in your life. This is the first of four exercises designed to encourage you to take the time to think about and identify your dreams, aspirations, motivations, and expectations. It may help you understand yourself better, figure out your goals, and make more informed decisions about your future. It may also help you to develop a stronger sense of purpose and direction in life. 

    Key Points to Remember:

    • Be honest with yourself; there are no right or wrong answers, and no judgment is attached to your responses.
    • Take your time with each prompt, thinking about what is important to you and why.
    • As you work through each prompt, take a moment to record your thoughts. These reflections can serve as a valuable resource for developing self-awareness.

    Dreams and Aspirations

    Prompt #1: 

    Consider how your dreams define you. Is there a childhood dream that you still hold onto? Ask yourself, why is it important to me? How would it feel to make that dream come true, and what sacrifices would you need to make (if any) to get there?

    Prompt #2:

    Ask yourself, “What am I currently passionate about?, and “What activities/responsibilities give me the most energy and satisfaction?, Who or what do I aspire to be or to do?” Does your happiness depend on living the life or career of your dreams?

    Prompt #3: 

    In the next 5 years, what specific achievement, title, or position must I accomplish, what impact must I have for my family, in my field of study, or in the world in general, that would represent the highest level of success and sense of self-fulfillment for me?

    Prompt #4:

    “What current skills, knowledge, or resources do I possess that will help me achieve this aspiration, and what key areas do I need to develop or acquire?” And, what is my plan to achieve those goals?

    Up Next: Goals and Motivation

    The next set of prompts, part two of the series, will ask you to identify and understand what motivates you to achieve goals you have set for yourself.

  • Unlocking Your Personal Growth: Motivations and Expectations

    Unlocking Your Personal Growth: Motivations and Expectations

    Throughout our lives, we are constantly asked, “What do you want to do?” “What are your goals?” and “What do you expect to achieve?” These aren’t just questions in a job interview or at a parent-teacher conference; they are at the heart of our motivations and expectations.

    Motivations: The Source of Your Personal Growth Blueprint

    Motivations are the “why” behind your work. Think of them as the desire that inspires you as the architect of your personal growth —the deep, personal reasons you to start your personal growth journey in the first place.

    Why do you wake up every morning and choose to work hard? Is it to solve a problem that fascinates you, to help others, for financial security, or to gain recognition? The reasons we tackle any task are our motivations. Knowing what truly motivates you is the difference between building a life that fulfills you and simply going through the motions. Without understanding your motivations, you risk creating a blueprint that someone else designed for you, leaving you feeling empty even after you’ve “finished” the job. Your motivations are your fuel. They provide the passion and perseverance necessary to overcome challenges and bring a vision to life.

    Intrinsic Motivation

    Intrinsic motivation is deeply personal and originates from within us. It is a dynamic force that drives us to participate in activities simply for the joy and satisfaction they bring. This type of motivation is closely tied to our dreams and aspirations. It is what pushes us to achieve personal goals, pursue our passions, and continuously work to improve ourselves. When you’re driven by what you truly want and value, not just other people’s demands, you feel in control and that you’re making your own choices.

    Extrinsic Motivation

    On the other hand, extrinsic motivation comes from outside influences and the rewards they offer. You do the activity not because you enjoy it, but because of what you’ll get from it, whether that’s something you can touch or something less tangible. These benefits could include things like grades, praise, recognition, money, or social status. While extrinsic motivation can be a useful tool for achieving specific goals, it is important to recognize that it can also have its limitations. If we completely rely on extrinsic motivation, not on our desires and expectations, it can leave us feeling unsatisfied, empty, even though we have achieved the benefits we were seeking.

    How They Relate to Each Other

    What really drives us comes from both intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. We might do things just because they make us feel good or because we’re curious (that’s intrinsic). Or, we might do things for external reasons, like getting a bonus or to get an “A” on a report card (that’s extrinsic). Usually, it’s a mix of both. Take getting a master’s degree, for instance, you might want the opportunity to learn and grow (intrinsic), but you may also think about the better job opportunities the degree provides and the more money you can make (extrinsic).

    Striking a balance between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation is often the key to achieving long-term success and happiness. While external rewards can provide a temporary boost, it is the internal drive and passion that sustains us over time. It is important to cultivate your intrinsic motivation by identifying activities that you genuinely enjoy and find meaningful. This may involve exploring our interests, discovering your passions, and setting personal goals that align with your values.

    To truly understand our motivations, we must also practice the art of self-reflection. This means asking yourself tough questions about what drives you, what rewards are you seeking, and if your motivations align with your fundamental values. As you grow, your motivations change, so it’s an ongoing process. You’ll need to regularly check if what drives you still aligns with your goals and helps you feel good overall.

    When we get to know ourselves better and understand what really motivates us, we can make smarter decisions, set goals that truly matter, and live a life that feels more deliberate and fulfilling. Just remember, real motivation comes from within, and that inner drive is what helps us reach our full potential.

    Expectations: The Specifications of Your Personal Growth Blueprint

    While motivations explain the “why,” expectations clarify the “what” and “how much,” serving as precise specifications on a blueprint. Expectations come from two sources: external expectations, which are standards set by others, like our parents’ expectations for us or a boss’s performance objectives, which represents what the world anticipates from you. Internal expectations, which are the standards you impose on yourself, such as desired grades, work quality, or personal values, representing the standards you uphold for yourself.

    As the architect of your personal growth, you must be keenly aware of both. You cannot build a solid structure without a clear plan. Your expectations provide the necessary direction and the measurable goals that turn your motivations into real actions.

    External Motivations

    Throughout our lives, external expectations are placed upon us by others. During childhood and our teenage years, these expectations primarily come from parents and teachers, who set standards for how well we do in school, our behavior, and how we act in social settings. As we enter adulthood, the sources of external expectations broaden to include employers, people we work with, friends, partners, and society in general. These can include a wide range of areas, such as our career success, being stable financially, our relationships, and meeting society’s expectations.

    It’s great to get guidance and motivation from others, but remember that what others expect isn’t always what we really want or value. Trying to make everyone happy can leave you feeling overwhelmed, not good enough, and like you’ve lost control. It’s important to figure out which external expectations are worth chasing and which ones you should politely pass on, always putting your own well-being and personal growth first.

    Internal Expectations

    Our internal expectations originate from our personal values, goals, and aspirations, reflecting our beliefs about our capabilities. These internal expectations span various aspects of life, including personal growth, career success, healthy living, our relationships, and our creative pursuits. While they can be a powerful motivator, driving us to excel, it’s vital that that our internal expectations remain realistic.

    Let’s be honest, most of us, myself included, have at some point in our lives created unrealistic expectations about how quickly we should be able to master something – studying for an exam, getting a promotion, completing a training course. Perhaps it’s “I expect to be paid ‘x’ number of dollars for working as a (fill in the blank) because they’re lucky to have me.” Or, “I shouldn’t have to start at the bottom and work my way up, because they’re lucky to have me.”

    Unattainable standards or expecting instant success can lead to frustration and a sense of failure. It is crucial to be patient with yourself, practice self-compassion, acknowledge that progress requires time and effort, remember to embrace a growth mindset, and celebrate minor achievements to keep motivated.

    How They Relate to Each Other

    What we expect from ourselves often comes from outside sources like what society tells us, educational standards, and seeing what other people have achieved. It’s important to know yourself and your aspirations, and consider just where these expectations come from. Do they actually fit with what we value and love, or are we just trying to please others and get their approval?

    How we feel about ourselves, our self-worth, and self-esteem really gets shaped by a combination of what we expect of ourselves and what others expect of us. When we meet or even go beyond those expectations, it feels great. But if we miss the mark, it can lead to feeling down, ashamed, or just not good enough.

    Remember that your value as a person isn’t tied to always meeting every expectation, whether it’s something we put on ourselves or something someone else expects. You’re growing and changing all the time, and hitting roadblocks or messing up is just part of the deal. By being kind to yourself, accepting who you are, and focusing on what truly drives you from the inside, you can build a strong sense of self-worth that will stick with you, no matter what others think or how much pressure we feel.

    The Role of Our Aspirations

    Knowing what you want, your aspirations, is key to setting your own expectations. When your expectations come from inside you, they lead to lasting happiness. But if they’re just based on what others think, that happiness won’t stick around. To find balance, make sure your goals match your aspirations, what you truly important to you. Be proud of what you achieve, even if no one else is cheering, and be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Always put your values, passions, and goals first.

    Motivations, Expectations, and Your Blueprint for Personal Growth

    The true strength of motivations and expectations is how they interact with each other. Motivations provide vision and energy, while expectations offer the set of instructions on our blueprint for personal growth.

    Personal growth occurs when your internal motivations are in harmony with your chosen expectations. This alignment is key to truly designing your growth blueprint. For example, if you love helping people, you might volunteer or work in public service. Or, if you’re motivated to become an expert, you’ll naturally keep learning and improving your skills.

    Remember, in the end, life is not just about ticking off a bunch of external boxes on a to-do list. It’s about really understanding what drives you and then picking goals that help you build a life that feels truly meaningful and personal.

  • Navigating Expectations for Personal Growth

    Navigating Expectations for Personal Growth

    Imagine trying to build a house, but everyone around you has a different blueprint for what it should look like. That’s often what personal growth feels like. Our parents, teachers, mentors, bosses – each brings their own blueprint, their own vision for our success. We often feel like our lives are a reaction to what others want from us. They tell us what we “should” do, what we “could” become, and what they “expect” from us. These figures in our lives have their own perspectives, their unique viewpoint, shaped by their experiences, beliefs, values, and career paths. For example, a parent’s perspective on your career might be shaped by their own experiences with financial matters or their view on traditional career opportunities. And their expectations for us often stem from their motivations (e.g., love, a desire for our success, ot perhaps their unfulfilled dreams, or their understanding of “what works”).

    Yet, the story of our success – or our struggle – isn’t decided solely by these external expectations. It’s profoundly shaped by the intricate connection between their perspective, our perception of that perspective, the expectations that emerge, and ultimately, our motivation to meet (or redefine) them. 

    Perception is how you interpret or make sense of what you see, hear, or experience. It’s your internal processing of information received. So, while your parent has a perspective on your career, your perception of their advice might be that it’s supportive, or controlling, or outdated, depending on your internal filters. It’s how you receive and understand something based on your unique emotional viewpoint.

    If we see these expectations as fair, supportive, and in line with our dreams, for example: “They care about me,” “This expectation is good for my growth.” We’re more likely to accept and respect them. This positive outlook can then really motivate us, inspiring us to work towards meeting those expectations and reaching shared goals. 

    On the flip side, if we see these expectations as unfair, unrealistic, or manipulative, for example:  “They’re being unfair,” “They don’t understand me”, our reaction can be totally different. Such a negative view can lead to feeling resentful, like we’re being controlled, and ultimately, a lack of motivation. In these cases, what started as an external push for our personal growth can turn into an emotional barrier, holding us back and making us feel unsatisfied. 

    Several other factors influence our ability to perceive, interpret, and respond to external expectations:

    Our self-perception, which includes our self-esteem, confidence, and past successes or failures, significantly filters these expectations. For instance, having low self-esteem can cause even positive expectations to feel like criticism or an unachievable burden.

    The timing and our stage of personal growth also play a crucial role. An expectation that might be welcomed at one point in life could be resented at another, depending on our maturity, the context, and other life circumstances.

    Finally, how expectations are communicated is crucial. A dictatorial approach (“You must do this my way,” or “Because I told you so.”) will be perceived very differently than a supportive conversation, drastically altering our reception of external expectations.

    This complex relationship between perspective, perception, expectation, and motivation is the very foundation upon which we build our future, layer by layer, brick by self-chosen brick. In a world full of blueprints laid out by others, understanding how these four elements collide within us is the secret to becoming the true architect of our personal growth building.

    Personal Commentary

    A common theme that I heard during the time I was tutoring students, and even from my grandchildren when talking with them about their classes, was their perception of their teachers and their teacher’s expectations for them.. It seemed that if their teacher’s expectations required them to follow strict guidelines as far as classroom behavior, no talking or no cell phones, for example, or the timely submission of homework to receive full credit, then the teacher was being “mean.” And, I imagine the same concept applied when our parents said we had a certain curfew and they held us accountable when we were home late; were they being “mean”? If we had a brother or sister who got to do something that we weren’t allowed to do because they were older or there were special circumstances were our parents being “mean” then as well? And as we become adults and enter the workforce, if we submit a request for certain vacation days and our supervisor denies it for whatever reason, are they just being”mean”? 

    How we perceive situations that don’t go our way, or there are expectations for us that we disagree with, whether it is for our behavior or our performance, as a son or daughter, as a student in the classroom, or the workplace, is critical to our success in life. 

    I never struggled when it came to my perception of what my parents or my teachers expected of me. It was a combination of respect and fear as it pertained to my parents; I could not bear to disappoint them for fear of the consequences. I spent most of my life trying to meet the expectations of others. It’s only in the later years of my career when I admit my arrogance and sense of self-importance led me to question or rebel against the expectations of others above me. Never perceiving them as being “mean”, but simply that their expectations and requirements did not apply when it came to me, which is even worse. 

    So if you’ll allow me to make the following observation based upon my years of experience, my successes, and my failures. When dealing with someone’s expectations for you, regardless of the circumstances, see it as an opportunity for growth. Before you react, ask yourself why these expectations exist, and how you can utilize the situation to make you better, as a student, an employee, or as a son or daughter. You are the architect of your personal growth and only you are responsible for creating your blueprint for success.

  • Becoming Your Own Personal Growth Architect

    Becoming Your Own Personal Growth Architect

    Your Role as an Architect in Your Personal Growth

    You’re building your personal growth building, and you’re the architect. This “architect” is your guide, turning your dreams into a clear vision of what you want to achieve. You acting as your personal growth architect will create a “blueprint” for your development, showing you the structure and key parts of your metaphorical building. Making sure your goals are solid and well defined, explaining how your dreams and goals create a strong foundation for your motivation and expectations, which then helps you move forward.

    But this role of an architect isn’t just about getting things done; it also focuses on how you experience your journey. It ensures everything lines up with who you want to be, both personally and publicly, making your whole growth process real and rewarding. As you start putting your plans into action, this architect offers a blueprint to follow, providing guidance, keeping you on track, helping you adjust, and making sure everything fits with your overall strategy.

    Ultimately, your growth blueprint helps you be clear on your vision, create a smart plan, connect different parts of your development, and finally build the life you imagine. Your growth architect could be your inner self, or a mentor, a coach, or even a structured way of thinking about yourself and your future. Regardless of who assumes the role of your personal growth architect, the blueprint design process begins with self-awareness.

    The Role of Self-awareness

    The most significant component in designing your blueprint for personal growth is self-awareness. It is the prerequisite—our knowledge of who we are and what we desire—on which our blueprint is based.

    Self-awareness can be a complex idea, but consider it this way: I know I want to grow a vegetable garden (self-awareness), versus with my role as an architect on this project, which involves the actual design (blueprint), selecting the plants, and determining their care.

    Self-awareness allows me to understand what I want to do and why I want to do it, my dreams, aspirations, goals, motivations, and expectations. In this particular example, it involves asking: Why do I want a garden? Why is it important to me? What do I expect it to look like? How soon do I want it ready? Once this groundwork is complete, only then can I take on the role of the architect and prepare a blueprint.

    Personal Commentary

    My Dad was a civil engineer. Where an architect works with people wanting to design their new home or businesses wanting to design new office space, my Dad would meet with developers planning new subdivisions, turning their ideas into detailed blueprints for streets, utilities, and home lots. Then, with a survey crew, he’d mark out key locations precisely, giving construction crews exact points to build from. His careful supervision continued until the project was complete.

    I still remember spending Saturday and Sunday afternoons helping my Dad in the field, measuring distances between property lines, new home foundations, utility lines, and easements. I really liked the work, so much so that during college summers, I’d join a survey crew for the Kentucky State Department of Highways, where my Dad was the District Engineer. It allowed me to use the math and physics concepts that I enjoyed from college. Why I didn’t follow in my Dad’s footsteps and become a civil engineer, I don’t know. I guess, like all of us, I needed to find my own path in life.

    I wish I had learned to create a clear blueprint for my life’s dreams and aspirations—something with defined goals and objectives, ways to track my progress, and built-in accountability. Back in college, some of my friends were way ahead of me on this. One good friend, who’s a doctor now, followed in his Dad’s footsteps. He showed up at Centre with a complete and detailed academic plan, knowing exactly which classes he needed for medical school and how hard he’d have to work to achieve the grades he wanted. He even found friends who shared his views to team up with, keeping each other accountable and supporting one another through tough times.

    Looking back, I spent my years throughout high school and my freshman year at Centre unsure of my direction. It wasn’t until my sophomore year, when I met Dr. Walkup, that I found a true mentor. He guided me, set clear expectations for success, and, crucially, held me accountable. Forty-five years later, in my late 60’s, I’d like to believe I know what I’m doing, but sometimes I still have my doubts. Even now, I find myself still searching for a blueprint on how to be the best father, grandfather, husband, and person I can be.