“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”
Albert Einstein
When we are young, and even throughout high school and college, we are frequently asked some form of the following question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Our answer would usually consist of career choices, such as a doctor, a lawyer, a fireman, a teacher, etc.
My answer, at least until my disastrous freshman year at Centre College, was I wanted to be a doctor. Not because that was my first choice, but because that was my Mom’s desire for me. I have to admit I had no idea what I wanted to be.
But from my perspective, after being on this planet for 67 years, a more important question that should be asked, and I wish someone had asked me, is: “How do you want to be known, as a person, when you grow up?” Not what my job title will be, not how successful I will be, or how much money I’ll make. But who, what kind of person am I? How will I be remembered? What value do I bring to the world around me?
Knowing, identifying, who we are as a person is a necessary step in finding the answer to that question. This involves understanding what is important to us, what are our dreams, aspirations, goals, motivations, and expectations. Additionally, we must recognize that growth is a process; there is a method we must follow to become the person we want to be. In essence, there is a journey of personal growth we must experience. Your journey, and mine, applies beyond our “academic” learning experiences and encompasses every area of our lives. This broader “spectrum” of learning includes life experiences, emotional intelligence, social interactions, and spiritual growth. EVERY experience, big or small, contributes to our overall growth.
This journey is a lifelong endeavor that is different for every individual, Yours will be totally different from mine, or your parents. There are no step-by-step instructions or a road map that we all can follow.
I may have a certain perspective on the topic, but my views are uniquely mine alone, and do not necessarily apply to situation. The biggest mistake I made in the classroom was assuming that my students shared the same passions for problem-solving and for learning that I did. I expected them to be more like me and did not recognize where they were in their own individual journeys.
There is no starting point or ending point; it is non-linear and cyclical, not a straight line between points A and B. It involves the support and influence of others, your parents, your family members, teachers, and friends. Influences that may cause you to lose sight of your own goals and expectations in favor of meeting other people’s expectations, becoming an obstacle to your own well-being. Social media pressures and your family dynamics may obscure your own internal compass.
Your journey requires constant observation, reflection, and analysis, allowing you to perceive the world around you in greater clarity, appreciating the complexity and the connectivity. You will gain new insights, encounter new situations, and overcome limitations – shifting your perspectives on life (if you allow it). The satisfaction of overcoming challenges, learning new skills, and being aware of your progress will motivate you to continue learning and growing. Your expectations of yourself will change. You will set more ambitious goals, face challenges with more confidence, and appreciate the value of lifelong learning.
Creating Your Own Map
In our minds, we create a map, so to speak, of where we’re headed in our lives, what steps we need to follow, and how long we expect it to take. As you follow your map, you’ll be exposed to new experiences, perspectives, and challenges, forcing you to reevaluate your goals and expectations and your course. Follow your internal compass – your intuition, your moral compass, or your core values that guide you even when your map and where you are headed seem unclear. Think of the people who have supported you in your journey, like family, friends, and mentors, as fellow travelers or guides along your journey.
Role of Family
Everyone’s journey begins with family, shaping our values, ideals, and our early understanding of the world around us. Your family background serves, to use a chemistry term, as the catalyst for your journey. It helps to shape your values, beliefs, and early understanding of the world around you. And while your family situation has a significant influence on your journey, it is important to recognize that your family situation and your genetic predisposition does not define you – you can overcome any family dysfunction, becoming your own person with your own values and beliefs through self-awareness and hard work. It may take some time for you to find your way but it will happen.
High School Years
High school is a critical period in our lives. It is a time when you start to figure out who you are and become more independent, developing your own values that may differ from your family’s. Relationships with friends can be complicated, and you might face the challenge of choosing between fitting in with a group and staying true to yourself.
Learning how to think critically and solve problems are important academic skills that are developed during high school. Thinking critically means to
High school is where it is important to boost your critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Critical thinking basically means thinking clearly and logically, and being able to connect ideas. It’s all about looking at facts, evidence, things you observe, and arguments to come up with good conclusions and make smart choices. Your opportunities to improve these skill sets may not exist as much in the classroom, especially with the teach-to-the-test philosophy that permeates our secondary schools, but can be nurtured elsewhere, for example, playing video games.
I can’t emphasize enough that it’s the process of learning is what is valuable throughout your life, even though the class material itself is only important in the short term to pass the next exam.
During these formative years you learn the importance of taking responsibility for your actions, both at home and in the classroom. Additionally, you will learn to recognize that you may not have all the answers and that you will need help and guidance from others, including your parents, teachers, and other people in your life.
Life can be challenging, and we often find ourselves merely surviving, going through the motions. Struggles can arise anytime, whether in school, work, or personal life. Times when it’s difficult to know what the right thing to do is, the right decision to make, it’s all we can do to get up in the morning and go through the motions of daily life. School becomes a struggle – keeping up in the classroom, finishing homework on time, and maintaining good grades. It’s even more important during these difficult times to develop a support network, whether it is through your faith, a trusted friend, or mentor.
These struggles are not just limited to your high school years; they may occur at any time along your career path. Life can throw you a lot of curve balls, unexpected events like illnesses, losing close friends or loved ones, or sudden opportunities that throw you off balance and make you reroute your path. But remember, all these things are valuable learning opportunities, events that help you discover new strengths, become more resilient and self-reliant.
And finally, in high school, you begin to make decisions about your future education and career. You might decide that college isn’t for you, and that’s okay. Your long-term goals may not require a college degree, and you can always change your mind later. The important thing is to identify your passion and develop a vision for your future.
College and Career
This segment of our lives is where we truly embark on our personal journey, where we step into uncharted territory, so to speak. We establish our independence, for some, living away from home for the first time. We form intimate relationships, develop skills needed for our career choice, and build a network of friends, colleagues, and mentors that may last a lifetime.
You will not always know which path you should follow or what role you are meant to play. It is only natural for you to make some wrong turns in your journey and at times feel lost. But it is so very important to realize these missteps, whether they are small or large, are valuable learning experiences. They teach us to be resilient and the importance of adaptability and self-correction – all benefits of practicing the art of self-awareness. And sometimes, regardless of the path we follow, we end up exactly where we are meant to be. Meaning we can’t always control the circumstances and situations we face in our lifetime; the best we can hope for is to be the best version of ourselves at the end of our journey. Knowing your own limitations is valuable; it requires an understanding of both your strengths and weaknesses. Regardless of what point you’re at in life, frequent self-assessments can be beneficial. To get you started, you’ll find one on the Self-assessment page of this blog.
