Musings of an Old Chemist

A Chemist's Perspective on the Habits and Skills STEM Students Need For Success

Tag: self-assessment

  • Mastering STEM: 3 Keys to Success Beyond ‘Natural Genius’

    Mastering STEM: 3 Keys to Success Beyond ‘Natural Genius’

    There’s a persistent myth in Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM): that success belongs to the “natural genius,” the person who just “gets it.”

    Here’s the truth: Achieving mastery in challenging STEM fields has little to do with some magical, intrinsic gift. It is 100% based on the application of several advanced intellectual and behavioral strategies. Think of it as a complete operating system upgrade for your brain.

    To move beyond the daily struggles and achieve genuine mastery in STEM, you need to commit to these three non-negotiable principles.

    The Power of Modeling

    Social Learning Theory, pioneered by Albert Bandura, shows that a huge part of human learning happens through observing and imitating others. But success isn’t about emulation (or copying) a single skill; it’s about modeling a complete system.

    To succeed, you must actively observe and adopt the entire package of skills and habits from those who have already achieved high levels of success. For example:

    • Advanced Technical Skills: How do experts and mentors break down a complex problem? Learn their analytical approaches.
    • Powerful Work Ethic: Look at how they meticulously structure their study schedules, their uncompromising standards for quality, and their consistent effort.
    • Powerful, Positive Mindset: How do they view failure? It’s purely objective, instructive data—nothing more.

    Take action, stop focusing solely on the textbook content. Start noting the process of your most successful peers or mentors. How do they organize? When and how do they study? How do they handle a major setback? You want to copy and implement a system, not just learn content knowledge.

    Escaping the “Developmental Trap.”

    A massive barrier to our progress is what is called the “developmental trap.” This is when you inadvertently become rooted in ineffective behavioral patterns that feel comfortable but sabotage your future.

    Are you chronically procrastinating? Do you find fault in everything you do, seeing only the negative outcomes, which paralyzes you from even starting? Are you habitually unclear about your goals and intentions, or vague in your communication with your fellow students/teachers/professors? These are self-sabotaging habits.

    To break free, you must perform a conscious, honest self-assessment and start developing and exercising your self-awareness skills.

    Follow-up on your self-assessment by:

    • Installing these productive habits: Resilience (bouncing back from setbacks with renewed effort) and a rigorous work ethic (getting things done with uncompromising quality and efficiency).
    • Discard low-return behaviors: Self-incrimination, self-doubt, and negativity.

    Over time, your relentless effort will help create a powerful “internal compass.” Your motivation shifts from the temporary need for external validation (a good grade, a compliment) to an intrinsic drive—a non-negotiable, standard you’ve set for quality and thoroughness that you must meet, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

    Prioritize the Process Over the Score

    The final, and perhaps most crucial, mental adjustment is letting go of the destructive notion that you must achieve absolute, flaw-free perfection. That ideal is unattainable and will only lead to burnout.

    The successful STEM student must value the process of learning and discovery over the final numerical score or grade.

    When an experiment fails, a line of code breaks, or you get a subpar result on a quiz, how you react must change. Don’t view it as a “mess-up” or that you don’t have what it takes to “make it.” Instead, you must treat it as a starting point from which you learn and progress.

    This data is essential for:

    1. Precisely identifying your weaknesses.
    2. Fine-tuning your approach to solving the problem or issue.
    3. Educating you for the design of your future, a more refined attempt.

    This mental shift is life-changing. It moves your focus from avoiding mistakes (a fear-based approach) to maximizing learning effectiveness (a growth-based approach.)

    Summary

    In the demanding world of STEM, setbacks—from experimental failures to complex problem-solving roadblocks and challenging coursework—are a daily certainty. Therefore, the single most critical factor for your long-term success and ultimate perseverance is your ability to effectively manage and recalibrate your expectations.

    Really successful STEM students ditch the idea that they have to be absolutely perfect. They focus more on consistently putting in the hard work and sticking closely to the process (understanding the “why” and the “how”), instead of getting hung up on immediate, flawless results. This mindset change is a huge win: it means they stop seeing mistakes as a huge personal flaw and start seeing them as valuable, objective data—the stuff you need for real learning, figuring out new strategies, and improving down the line. In the end, this shift turns anxiety into a powerful tool for growth.

  • Self-assessment Exercise Three: Identifying Your Expectations and Beliefs

    Self-assessment Exercise Three: Identifying Your Expectations and Beliefs

    For your consideration:

    “Lower expectations do not lead to happiness, no matter how often they are met.”

    – Michael Jordan

    Introduction

    Honest self-reflection is a precursor to self-awareness and the starting point for our discussion of personal growth. To start to know yourself, you need to consider who you are and what’s important to you at this point in your life. This is the third of four exercises designed to encourage you to take the time to think about and identify your goals and motivations. This exercise is designed to help you understand the forces driving your pursuit of a key personal or professional goal. It may help you know yourself better, figure out your goals, and make more informed decisions about your future. It may also help you to develop a stronger sense of purpose and direction in life. 

    Key Points to Remember

    • Be honest with yourself; there are no right or wrong answers, and no judgment is attached to your responses.
    • Take your time with these exercises, thinking about what is important to you and why.
    • As you work through each prompt, take a moment to record your thoughts. These reflections serve as a valuable resource when developing self-awareness.

    Expectations and Beliefs

    Description of the Types of Expectations

    Expectations can be broadly categorized into two types: internal (intrinsic) and external (extrinsic). While there are subtle distinctions between internal and intrinsic, and external and extrinsic, for clarity in this explanation, I will group them together.

    Internal (intrinsic) Expectations

    Internal (Intrinsic) expectations originate within you. These are the personal standards that influence your behavior, performance, and character. They can take various forms. These might include physical goals, such as training for a marathon; a commitment to daily habits like a 10-minute meditation; value-based principles like kindness and honesty; or quality standards, such as the expectation that your work will be perfect when you submit it.

    Your motivation to meet these expectations stems from intrinsic factors such as your personal values, ambitions, self-worth, and the desire for self-improvement. The primary reason is often the desire to meet your own standards for mastering new content or ideas, exploring your passions and interests, your process of personal growth, and a sense of satisfaction. For instance, you might set an expectation to practice the guitar for an hour daily, motivated purely by the love of improving and the music itself, finding your reward in the satisfaction you receive from the activity.

    External (extrinsic) Expectations

    External (extrinsic) expectations originate from outside yourself. They are standards, rules, or requests set by other people, your parents, friends, coworkers, or society in general. For example: a deadline for a project (either in class or at work), your parents or a spouse’s request for you to do a specific household chore, a job description or class syllabus listing how your performance at work or class will be measured, or perhaps a societal standard on how you “should” behave, dress, or define success to be accepted. At its core, with external (extrinsic) expectations, your primary desire is often to meet the standards of others.

    Accountability to others, the pursuit of rewards like promotions or praise, and the avoidance of negative consequences such as disapproval from parents, friends, or bosses, poor grades, or losing a job, are often key internal (intrinsic) motivators for meeting external expectations. External (extrinsic) motivations, by comparison, are generally less fluid and flexible because changing the expectations of others requires you to negotiate the terms of the expectations and seek agreement with another person.

    Bottom Line 

    Your expectations need to be realistic and attainable, plus align with your personal goals and ambitions. You must remain true to yourself and your beliefs and core values, regardless of how difficult it may seem at times. Negotiating expectations is a major component of the personal growth process.

    Prompts

    Prompt #1: 

    Whose expectations have the strongest influence on your life, and that you feel obligated to meet? Are they aligned with your own beliefs and desires? How do you manage those expectations and stay true to your dreams and goals?

    Prompt #2:

    List three things you expect from yourself (for example, I expect myself to spend 30 minutes each day writing). How do these expectations impact your daily decisions and actions? Does meeting your expectations give you self-confidence and encourage you to do more? Or do these expectations overwhelm you? 

    Prompt #3: 

    Think about a recent time when you exceeded an expectation. Did you take time to acknowledge and celebrate that success? If not, why? Recognizing your “wins” is an important component of self-care.

    Prompt #4:

    Think about your expectations for others (friends, family, or people in general). Are these expectations realistic and attainable? How do they align with what you expect from yourself, your goals, and your beliefs? 

    Up Next: Practicing the Art of Self-reflection and Evaluating Your Openness for Change 

    The last set of prompts, part four of the series, will ask you to practice the art of self-reflection and evaluate your openness for change.

  • Self-assessment Exercise Two: Understanding Your Goals and Motivations

    Self-assessment Exercise Two: Understanding Your Goals and Motivations

    For your consideration:

    “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to just try one more time.”

    – Thomas Edison

    Introduction

    Honest self-reflection is a precursor to self-awareness and the starting point for our discussion of personal growth. To start to know yourself, you need to consider who you are and what’s important to you at this point in your life. This is the second of four exercises designed to encourage you to take the time to think about and identify your goals and motivations. This exercise is designed to help you understand the forces driving your pursuit of a key personal or professional goal. It may help you understand yourself better, figure out your goals, and make more informed decisions about your future. It may also help you to develop a stronger sense of purpose and direction in life.

    Key Points to Remember

    • Be honest with yourself; there are no right or wrong answers, and no judgment is attached to your responses.
    • Take your time with these exercises, thinking about what is important to you and why.
    • As you work through each prompt, take a moment to record your thoughts. These reflections can serve as a valuable resource for developing self-awareness.

    Goals and Motivations

    A Quick Refresher Regarding the Types of Motivation

    Intrinsic motivation is the drive that comes from within. You do it because the act itself is enjoyable, satisfying, or aligns with your core values and sense of purpose (e.g., learning a skill because you are passionate about learning, solving a puzzle for the challenge).

    Extrinsic motivation is the drive that derives from external factors. You do it for a separable outcome, like a reward, recognition, status, or to avoid punishment (e.g., working hard for a bonus, getting a degree to impress others).

    Healthy motivation is often a blend of both, but an over-reliance on extrinsic factors can be unsustainable and lead to burnout.

    Prompts

    Prompt #1: 

    Choose one significant goal you are currently working towards regarding your personal success or growth. Describe it in one or two clear sentences.

    Prompt #2:

    List the things that truly motivate you to achieve this goal. Are they intrinsic motivations (lead to a sense of accomplishment or happiness) or extrinsic (money, job title, or recognition). How did these motivations influence your selection of this goal? 

    Prompt #3: 

    Think of a past achievement you’re proud of. What motivated you in this endeavor, and how did it make you feel to achieve it?

    Prompt #4: 

    Think of a time you overcame an unexpected challenge or setback. What motivated you to keep going? What did you learn from that experience? How, if any, has it changed the way you set goals in the future?

    Up Next: Expectations and Beliefs

    The next set of prompts, part three of the series, will ask you to examine your expectations and your belief system.

  • Self-assessment Exercise One: Identifying Your Dreams and Aspirations

    Self-assessment Exercise One: Identifying Your Dreams and Aspirations

    For your consideration:

    “The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.”

    – Joel Brown

    Introduction

    Honest self-reflection is a precursor to self-awareness and the starting point for our discussion of personal growth. To start to know yourself, you need to consider who you are and what’s important to you at this point in your life. This is the first of four exercises designed to encourage you to take the time to think about and identify your dreams, aspirations, motivations, and expectations. It may help you understand yourself better, figure out your goals, and make more informed decisions about your future. It may also help you to develop a stronger sense of purpose and direction in life. 

    Key Points to Remember:

    • Be honest with yourself; there are no right or wrong answers, and no judgment is attached to your responses.
    • Take your time with each prompt, thinking about what is important to you and why.
    • As you work through each prompt, take a moment to record your thoughts. These reflections can serve as a valuable resource for developing self-awareness.

    Dreams and Aspirations

    Prompt #1: 

    Consider how your dreams define you. Is there a childhood dream that you still hold onto? Ask yourself, why is it important to me? How would it feel to make that dream come true, and what sacrifices would you need to make (if any) to get there?

    Prompt #2:

    Ask yourself, “What am I currently passionate about?, and “What activities/responsibilities give me the most energy and satisfaction?, Who or what do I aspire to be or to do?” Does your happiness depend on living the life or career of your dreams?

    Prompt #3: 

    In the next 5 years, what specific achievement, title, or position must I accomplish, what impact must I have for my family, in my field of study, or in the world in general, that would represent the highest level of success and sense of self-fulfillment for me?

    Prompt #4:

    “What current skills, knowledge, or resources do I possess that will help me achieve this aspiration, and what key areas do I need to develop or acquire?” And, what is my plan to achieve those goals?

    Up Next: Goals and Motivation

    The next set of prompts, part two of the series, will ask you to identify and understand what motivates you to achieve goals you have set for yourself.

  • Step-by-Step Procedure for Personal Growth

    Step-by-Step Procedure for Personal Growth

    The key to a successful analysis or experiment is a detailed procedure to follow. First, it provides a list of all the key starting materials you need to gather, along with the quantities of each. Then step-by-step instructions on how to combine these materials. Then details regarding under what conditions the reaction mechanism drives the reaction process to its completion, resulting in the product or products you desire. A quality procedure also lists the byproducts that a reaction process may produce. And finally, a section on sources of error, a detailed description of possible errors that can be made, and the effect of these mistakes on the reaction process, and which products or byproducts are produced.

    I can attest to the fact that writing a quality procedure is a challenging task. I’ve drafted my share of procedures in my career, and I’ve found that it requires extensive hands-on experience performing the chemical reaction process and an in-depth understanding of how each step of the procedure contributes to the overall desired result. More importantly, I found that the sources of error section is the most difficult section to write. Luckily, I was blessed to have college professors whose primary focus was on the documentation of every possible source of error in every experiment we performed and on every lab report we prepared in our advanced chemistry and physics courses.

    Commentary

    So, how does this concept of a detailed procedure apply in our chemical reaction analogy of personal growth? I can honestly say there were points in my life that I had no idea what I was supposed to do, what decision to make, what path to follow.  I wished I had had a detailed procedure to follow, a document that told me what decisions I should make, and when, to obtain the goals, and the success I was seeking. A set of step-by-step instructions defining what skills and traits I needed to possess, and the decisions I needed to make. And more importantly, I could’ve used a sources of error section that identified what mistakes I might make, describing how to, if not avoid them, deal with them constructively and not get sidetracked on my journey. 

    But, as I have learned and become painfully aware of at times, there is no one universal set of instructions we can follow for personal success. While there are plenty of books written on the subject, not one is universally applicable to each of us, with our individual personality traits, gifts, dreams, and aspirations.

    Creating Your Procedure for Personal Growth

    You cannot find a procedure tailored personally for you in a blog, book, or video; you produce it. It’s not a set of instructions someone else has written for your life. Instead, you create it with a combination of self-assessment and a growth mindset, the understanding that there is always more you can learn.

    Step One: Self-assessment

    To begin, you need to develop an awareness of the starting materials component for your personal growth procedure through honest self-assessment –  identifying your strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and natural tendencies (how you react in different situations). This is the initial observation stage, much like in the Scientific Method. 

    Continue to ask yourself: “What have I done in the past that’s worked for me?”, “What approach or actions to address challenges or concerns feels natural to me?”, and “What habits, good and bad, do I tend to fall into?” This self-assessment ensures your approach is personalized and realistic.  Following a generic procedure that works for someone else might produce a result in you that leaves you feeling emotionally, mentally, or physically drained.

    Remember that this journey is yours, and yours alone.

    Step Two: Utilizing a Growth Mindset

    Once you’ve identified your core starting materials, turn your attention outward. See how others have achieved similar goals. Dive into books and articles about what you’re interested in. Find mentors who have already done what you want to do, ask for their input, seek their instruction. And, try to learn from their successes and failures. Figure out what works for them and then make it your own.

    Perfecting Your Procedure: The Scientific Method

    You don’t know what to do at the beginning; you discover it. Your procedure for personal growth is not something you are handed at the beginning of your journey. Instead, your initial procedure is a hypothesis – a best guess based on your self-awareness and research. Through the process of experimentation, analysis, and revision, you refine that hypothesis. The final, tested and proven procedure is the culmination of your observation and learning. It represents the wisdom and practical knowledge you’ve gained from the entire process.

    Your  “procedure”  is not a fixed set of instructions; it is dynamic and constantly changing. As you learn more about yourself and the world around you, your procedure must adapt to who you are and your unique situation at each stage of your personal growth. What works for you today may not be what you need a year from now. Your procedure adapts as you gain new insights, as your world changes, and as your goals evolve.

    This is the power of applying the scientific method to your life: you are constantly running small experiments, collecting data on your results, and refining your methods for the next reiteration. It’s a continuous, cyclical process of learning and adaptation. Your journey of personal growth is ever-evolving; each day brings with it new challenges. Personal growth dictates that who we are today is different than who we were yesterday, and hopefully, tomorrow we will be better than we are today.

  • Self-Awareness: Your Internal GPS for Personal Growth

    Self-Awareness: Your Internal GPS for Personal Growth

    So, we have this incredible building of personal growth, with its strong foundation and aspiring capstone. But how do we know we’re heading in the right direction? That’s where self-awareness, our internal “GPS” comes in.. It helps us pinpoint where we are right now and where we truly want to go. And once we have that clarity, we can then step into an even more powerful role: that of our architect, consciously designing and constructing the path to that very destination we desire.

    Think about your favorite video game or an elaborate set of LEGO™  building blocks. Before you can build something amazing or conquer a level, you need to know the rules, the tools you have, and where you want to go, right? Well, the same goes for growing as a person! Self-awareness is like having your internal map and knowing yourself really well – your strengths, your feelings, and what you truly care about. Understanding yourself is the first step to designing the kind of person you want to become and the life you want to build.

    Now imagine you’re the architect of your personal growth building. You get to design who you want to be and what you want to achieve. But just like any good architect, you need to know your materials and have a clear vision, a good set of blueprints. That is the role of self-awareness. Self-awareness is the process of getting to know your values, your skills, and what sparks your interest. It’s the foundation for making smart choices and building a future that’s uniquely yours.

    And just like a GPS helps you navigate physical terrain, self-awareness helps you navigate your personal landscape. Self-awareness is like your inner moral compass, helping you make choices that truly align with your gut feelings and what you value most. It’s about figuring out what truly matters to you, ensuring that your actions reflect who you genuinely are. This inner guide also helps you set goals based on your dreams and aspirations, turning them into clear “checkpoints” on your life’s journey. 

    Also, self-awareness, acting as your internal GPS, lets you see how far you’ve come, and how much further you have to go, giving you clarity on your journey and chances to celebrate all your wins, big or small. Life isn’t usually a straight line; it’s more like a complex roadmap with twists, turns, and unexpected detours. In this ever-changing landscape, self-awareness is beneficial. By regularly thinking about your experiences, changing values, and goals, it lets you adjust your “direction” when you need to. This ability to make important course corrections keeps you aligned with your evolving self, leading to a deeper understanding of who you’re becoming.

    Plus, this metaphorical GPS can show you different ways to reach your goals, giving you practical ideas about how long it might take and how much effort you’ll need. It encourages flexibility, helping you gracefully handle unexpected challenges and changes. When you inevitably feel “lost” or unsure, self-awareness shines a light on where you are in your journey. It not only shows you how far you’ve come but also reminds you of your inner strength and all the amazing progress you’ve made.  Recognizing where we are on our personal map, even when feeling disoriented, can be immensely reassuring. It helps us appreciate the progress we’ve made, recalibrate our direction when needed, and refuel our motivation to continue our journey.

    Ultimately, self-awareness is key to appreciating your ongoing progress, adjusting your course when things go off track, and boosting your motivation, pushing you forward with a fresh and clear sense of purpose. 

    How to Cultivate Your Self-awareness

    Self-awareness is a skill that, like a musical talent, such as playing the piano or the guitar, can be significantly improved through consistent effort, or practice, combined with specific techniques and activities. While you may already have a natural ability for playing an instrument or in the case of self-awareness, introspection or reflection, these are skills must still be developed. For self-awareness is an ongoing journey of discovery, where your investment of your time in mastering the following techniques along with a willingness to explore your inner self can lead to your significant growth as a person.

    This growth goes beyond understanding your strengths and weaknesses; it involves a deeper understanding of your emotions, thoughts, values, and motivations. It requires observing how these shape our behaviors and how we react to the world around us. Consider it like possessing an internal GPS system that continuously calibrates and refines its accuracy. Our constantly evolving and improving inner compass helps us navigate life’s obstacles, make well-informed choices, and encourage more honest relationships.

    To develop your self-awareness, consider these three components: an honest self-assessment, journaling, and seeking feedback from trusted peers (parents, mentors, teachers, and close friends). Each offers a distinct perspective on your inner workings, revealing valuable insights into your patterns and tendencies. The consistent commitment to these practices sharpens your awareness of your inner self, helping you to understand and control your emotions, improve your decision-making, and provide a clearer sense of purpose. Ultimately, self-awareness is a continuous journey of growth, changing as we mature and experience new things.

    The best place to start to grow your self-awareness is with a comprehensive self-assessment that encourages you to think about your:

    • Dreams and Aspirations: What is your long-term vision? What impact do you want to make in the world? What kind of future do you imagine for yourself?
    • Goals: What specific goals are you working towards in your academic and personal lives?
    • Strengths: What are you naturally good at? What skills and talents come easily to you? What do others praise you for?
    • Weaknesses (or Areas for Growth): Where do you struggle? What skills need development? What habits might be holding you back?

    This initial self-assessment provides a valuable foundation for building self-awareness. It helps you understand your internal compass and identify areas where you want to focus your energy.

    Next, I encourage you to keep a personal journal or even a private blog where you reflect on what you are learning in your courses, interactions with others, and daily activities, plus the challenges you are facing and how you are overcoming them. Journaling provides you an opportunity to:

    • Map  Your Progress: Regularly writing down your experiences, thoughts, and feelings related to your goals allows you to track how far you’ve come and identify patterns in your progress.
    • Reflect on Your Struggles: Journaling provides a safe space to explore challenges, frustrations, and setbacks. By writing about these difficulties, you can gain clarity, identify potential solutions, and learn from your experiences. 
    • Deepen Your Understanding of Who You Are: The act of writing forces you to express your thoughts and emotions, leading to a deeper understanding of your motivations, expectation and how you react in different situations.
    • Identify Patterns: Over time, journaling can reveal recurring patterns in your thoughts, behaviors, and emotional responses, offering valuable insights into your personality and habits. Journaling encourages you to explore and define your core values through self-reflection. 

    With practice, you will learn to spend time in deliberate  reflection, asking yourself questions such as: How did I feel today and why?, Why did I react that way in that situation and what can I learn from it?, What can I do differently given the same situation?, What are my core values and are they changing?, What are my current goals and why are they important to me?

    Finally, learn to ask others for their feedback on your progress, your actions and behavior, keeping an open mind and without getting defensive. I suggest asking trusted friends, family, or mentors for constructive feedback on how you come across to others. And while this can be challenging, it provides valuable perspective. More importantly, your willingness to reflect on this feedback objectively and identify patterns or areas where you can grow is a beneficial component of your personal growth.

    As a STEM student, this combination of activities can be particularly effective. You should appreciate the logical and scientific approach, a self-assessment followed by consistent journaling provides the framework for self-awareness. And, journaling can be seen as a way to collect “data” about yourself, which you can then analyze for insights and trends. This aligns with the analytical mindset you’ll need for success in the STEM fields. And finally, this process has its focus on growth and Improvement. It naturally encourages a growth mindset by prompting you to identify areas for improvement and track your development over time.

    In conclusion, do not forget that self-awareness is a continuous process, not a one-time activity. Practice it daily. Connect it to your goals. Remember self-awareness is a great tool to help you succeed in your studies, your future careers, and all areas of your life. Ultimately, self-awareness is the key to appreciating your ongoing progress, adjusting your course when things go off track, and boosting your motivation, pushing you forward with a fresh and clear sense of purpose. 

  • Journey of Personal Growth – Introduction

    Journey of Personal Growth – Introduction

    “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” 

    Albert Einstein

    When we are young, and even throughout high school and college, we are frequently asked some form of the following question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Our answer would usually consist of career choices, such as a doctor, a lawyer, a fireman, a teacher, etc.

    My answer, at least until my disastrous freshman year at Centre College, was I wanted to be a doctor. Not because that was my first choice, but because that was my Mom’s desire for me. I have to admit I had no idea what I wanted to be.

    But from my perspective, after being on this planet for 67 years, a more important question that should be asked, and I wish someone had asked me, is: “How do you want to be known, as a person, when you grow up?” Not what my job title will be, not how successful I will be, or how much money I’ll make. But who, what kind of person am I? How will I be remembered? What value do I bring to the world around me?

    Knowing, identifying, who we are as a person is a necessary step in finding the answer to that question. This involves understanding what is important to us, what are our dreams, aspirations, goals, motivations, and expectations. Additionally, we must recognize that growth is a process; there is a method we must follow to become the person we want to be. In essence, there is a journey of personal growth we must experience. Your journey, and mine, applies beyond our “academic” learning experiences and encompasses every area of our lives. This broader “spectrum” of learning includes life experiences, emotional intelligence, social interactions, and spiritual growth. EVERY experience, big or small, contributes to our overall growth.

    This journey is a lifelong endeavor that is different for every individual, Yours will be totally different from mine, or your parents. There are no step-by-step instructions or a road map that we all can follow.

    I may have a certain perspective on the topic, but my views are uniquely mine alone, and do not necessarily apply to situation. The biggest mistake I made in the classroom was assuming that my students shared the same passions for problem-solving and for learning that I did. I expected them to be more like me and did not recognize where they were in their own individual journeys.

    There is no starting point or ending point; it is non-linear and cyclical, not a straight line between points A and B. It involves the support and influence of others, your parents, your family members, teachers, and friends. Influences that may cause you to lose sight of your own goals and expectations in favor of meeting other people’s expectations, becoming an obstacle to your own well-being. Social media pressures and your family dynamics may obscure your own internal compass.

    Your journey requires constant observation, reflection, and analysis, allowing you to perceive the world around you in greater clarity, appreciating the complexity and the connectivity. You will gain new insights, encounter new situations, and overcome limitations – shifting your perspectives on life (if you allow it). The satisfaction of overcoming challenges, learning new skills, and being aware of your progress will motivate you to continue learning and growing. Your expectations of yourself will change. You will set more ambitious goals, face challenges with more confidence, and appreciate the value of lifelong learning.

    Creating Your Own Map

    In our minds, we create a map, so to speak, of where we’re headed in our lives, what steps we need to follow, and how long we expect it to take. As you follow your map, you’ll be exposed to new experiences, perspectives, and challenges, forcing you to reevaluate your goals and expectations and your course. Follow your internal compass – your intuition, your moral compass, or your core values that guide you even when your map and where you are headed seem unclear. Think of the people who have supported you in your journey, like family, friends, and mentors, as fellow travelers or guides along your journey.

    Role of Family

    Everyone’s journey begins with family, shaping our values, ideals, and our early understanding of the world around us. Your family background serves, to use a chemistry term, as the catalyst for your journey. It helps to shape your values, beliefs, and early understanding of the world around you. And while your family situation has a significant influence on your journey, it is important to recognize that your family situation and your genetic predisposition does not define you – you can overcome any family dysfunction, becoming your own person with your own values and beliefs through self-awareness and hard work. It may take some time for you to find your way but it will happen.

    High School Years

    High school is a critical period in our lives. It is a time when you start to figure out who you are and become more independent, developing your own values that may differ from your family’s. Relationships with friends can be complicated, and you might face the challenge of choosing between fitting in with a group and staying true to yourself.

    Learning how to think critically and solve problems are important academic skills that are developed during high school. Thinking critically means to

    High school is where it is important to boost your critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Critical thinking basically means thinking clearly and logically, and being able to connect ideas. It’s all about looking at facts, evidence, things you observe, and arguments to come up with good conclusions and make smart choices. Your opportunities to improve these skill sets may not exist as much in the classroom, especially with the teach-to-the-test philosophy that permeates our secondary schools, but can be nurtured elsewhere, for example, playing video games.

    I can’t emphasize enough that it’s the process of learning is what is valuable throughout your life, even though the class material itself is only important in the short term to pass the next exam. 

    During these formative years you learn the importance of taking responsibility for your actions, both at home and in the classroom. Additionally, you will learn to recognize that you may not have all the answers and that you will need help and guidance from others, including your parents, teachers, and other people in your life. 

    Life can be challenging, and we often find ourselves merely surviving, going through the motions. Struggles can arise anytime, whether in school, work, or personal life.  Times when it’s difficult to know what the right thing to do is, the right decision to make, it’s all we can do to get up in the morning and go through the motions of daily life. School becomes a struggle – keeping up in the classroom, finishing homework on time, and maintaining good grades. It’s even more important during these difficult times to develop a support network, whether it is through your faith, a trusted friend, or mentor.

    These struggles are not just limited to your high school years; they may occur at any time along your career path. Life can throw you a lot of curve balls, unexpected events like illnesses, losing close friends or loved ones, or sudden opportunities that throw you off balance and make you reroute your path. But remember, all these things are valuable learning opportunities, events that help you discover new strengths, become more resilient and self-reliant.

    And finally, in high school, you begin to make decisions about your future education and career. You might decide that college isn’t for you, and that’s okay. Your long-term goals may not require a college degree, and you can always change your mind later. The important thing is to identify your passion and develop a vision for your future.

    College and Career

    This segment of our lives is where we truly embark on our personal journey, where we step into uncharted territory, so to speak. We establish our independence, for some, living away from home for the first time. We form intimate relationships, develop skills needed for our career choice, and build a network of friends, colleagues, and mentors that may last a lifetime.

    Commentary

    You will not always know which path you should follow or what role you are meant to play. It is only natural for you to make some wrong turns in your journey and at times feel lost. But it is so very important to realize these missteps, whether they are small or large, are valuable learning experiences. They teach us to be resilient and the importance of adaptability and self-correction – all benefits of practicing the art of self-awareness. And sometimes, regardless of the path we follow, we end up exactly where we are meant to be. Meaning we can’t always control the circumstances and situations we face in our lifetime; the best we can hope for is to be the best version of ourselves at the end of our journey. Knowing your own limitations is valuable; it requires an understanding of both your strengths and weaknesses. Regardless of what point you’re at in life, frequent self-assessments can be beneficial. To get you started, you’ll find one on the Self-assessment page of this blog.