Musings of an Old Chemist

A Chemist's Perspective on the Habits and Skills STEM Students Need For Success

Tag: self-improvement

  • Mastering Emotional Intelligence for Personal Growth

    Mastering Emotional Intelligence for Personal Growth

    When we talk about the subject of personal growth, we usually split things into two buckets: “Inner” growth (a growth mindset, self-awareness, and resilience) and “Outer” growth (relationships, communication skills, achievements, and recognition). However, here’s the missing piece in our model: Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the bridge that unites these two separate ideas, preparing you to be successful as a functioning member of society, regardless of your chosen career path. Producing real-world success that people actually notice.

    Emotional Intelligence (EQ) isn’t just about being nice; it is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions while recognizing and acknowledging the feelings of others. If your IQ measures your intelligence or book knowledge, EQ measures your people skills and self-control. It is the connection between thinking and feeling.

    The Four Core Pillars of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

    Pillar #1: Self-awareness

    In a previous blog post, we defined Self-Awareness as the GPS for our process of personal growth. And it is the absolute starting point for emotional intelligence (EQ). It’s all about understanding your own moods, feelings, what drives you, and how all that affects the people around you. To master this, you need to take an honest look at what you’re good at and what you struggle with, and feel genuinely confident in yourself. The key thing is, a self-aware person doesn’t just feel an emotion; they can actually figure out why they’re feeling frustrated, happy, or stressed. This deep internal check is the groundwork for everything else in emotional intelligence.

    Pillar #2: Self-control

    The second component, self-control (self-management), follows self-awareness. It is crucial for keeping destructive emotions and urges in check, so you can stay calm and collected, even when things get stressful. Think of it as emotional control—it’s that ability to hit the pause button between feeling an impulse and actually doing something about it. This pause allows you to make smart, principled decisions instead of just reacting impulsively or defensively. Self-management includes being flexible, taking initiative, and keeping a positive attitude in order to reach your goals, even when you face roadblocks.

    Common Examples:

    When receiving constructive criticism, someone with low emotional intelligence (EQ) might immediately become defensive, blame someone else for their mistake, or just give the person the silent treatment, which is not helpful. In contrast, a person with high emotional intelligence will pause, acknowledge that the criticism, while it may feel uncomfortable, is justified, and then ask what they need to do to improve, genuinely thanking the person for being honest. 

    When having a “bad day,” a person with low emotional intelligence stressed about a meeting or a deadline, might react by snapping at their parents, spouse, friend, or even someone in a restaurant or store, just because they are in the way. A highly emotionally intelligent response is to recognize the feeling of being overwhelmed and directly tell a partner, “I’m having a ridiculously stressful day and I’m a bit on edge. I need 20 minutes of quiet to de-stress so I don’t accidentally take it out on you.” 

    Pillar #3: Social Awareness

    Social Awareness (Empathy) is the third key ability, which is shifting your focus away from yourself and focusing on others. This crucial skill enables you to sense, understand, and respond well to the emotional needs and concerns of those around you. Often described as being able to “read the room”, it requires you to see things from someone else’s perspective and grasp the mood of the situation. It goes beyond just seeing that someone is upset; strong social awareness helps you to understand why they are feeling that way, which is critical for great relationships and connecting with others.

    For Example:

    During a big disagreement, either at home, school, or at work, a person with low emotional intelligence makes their goal to “win” the argument and prove the other person is wrong. Conversely, a highly emotionally intelligent individual focuses on understanding the other person’s perspective, asking questions like, “Help me out here – why is this so important to you?” because they value the relationship more than being right.

    Pillar #4: Building Relationships

    Building Relationships is the final stage of emotional intelligence. It’s where you combine your emotional intelligence and social skills to manage complicated social situations, inspiring others. This is the top level of emotional intelligence, showing how well you can influence people, get them on board, and help them grow. It covers multiple social and communication skills—things like building trust and connection, communicating your message clearly and powerfully, addressing disagreements without a fight, and promoting change in a variety of settings, at home, school, and work. Bottom line? Relationship Management is about taking what you know about yourself (self-awareness) and what you feel for others (empathy) and turning that into positive interactions with those around you.

    Conclusion

    Emotional intelligence (EQ) is an essential skill for genuine, lasting success. Without it, attempts at inner growth become mere wishful thinking that fails when the pressure mounts. And outer growth results in shallow relationships that lack the trust necessary for long-term progress and achievement. Emotional intelligence links your inner strength to your outer results, establishing a mechanism that accelerates both personal growth and professional success.

  • Essential Skills for Success in STEM: Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, Resilience

    Essential Skills for Success in STEM: Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, Resilience

    You may be doing well in your math and science courses, or perhaps you’re already interested in areas such as computer programming, robotics, or video game design. While a passion for STEM and strong academic performance are certainly vital, true success in these fields requires more than just intelligence.

    The key drivers—the qualities that will propel you through challenging projects, demanding courses, and even career setbacks—are the four absolutely vital tools in your personal growth toolkit for anyone charting a course in STEM: Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, and Resilience.

    What is Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, and Resilience? 

    1. Initiative

    What it is: The ability to self-start, take action without being told, and seek out new opportunities or skills.

    Why it matters in STEM: The STEM fields are constantly evolving. What you learn today may be outdated in five years. Initiative is crucial for lifelong learning—the willingness to constantly teach yourself new skills (computer programming, robotics, advanced data analysis, or new analytical instrumentation) to remain current and competitive in the industry.

    When performing research or problem-solving, it takes initiative to troubleshoot errors, design a better experiment, or learn to use a new piece of equipment before it’s required. It’s what drives you to excel.

    Example: Your Chemistry professor assigns an open-ended laboratory project. The explicit expectation is a successful, unique final product. You must show the initiative to search for resources, organize the necessary equipment and reagents, and learn to operate the necessary tools needed to complete the project because the assignment demands it, not just because you feel like it.

    2. Resolve

    What it is: A firm determination to achieve a specific goal, resisting distractions, and maintaining focus even when things get tough. The unwavering focus needed to complete a difficult project, solve a complex equation, or commit to the years of study required for a specialized field of study.

    Why it matters in STEM: STEM fields demand long-term commitment. Resolve is what helps you stay committed to completing that difficult assignment, even when exhaustion hits. Push through a difficult physics derivation, knowing the understanding will unlock new perspectives. See past a frustrating semester or a challenging first-year chemistry, physics, or math course, reminding you of your ultimate career aspirations. It’s the inner conviction that keeps you on track.

    Example: Introductory college courses, such as Organic Chemistry, Physics, and Calculus, are often intentionally challenging to test your preparedness to succeed in upper level courses. When faced with a low grade, resolve is the quality that prevents you from abandoning your major. Initiative is the drive to seek out help by finding a tutor, joining a study group, or meeting with the professor to grasp the material you do not understand, instead of simply giving up.

    3. Perseverance

    What it is: The sustained effort to keep working despite difficulties, serving as the dedication required to solve tough problems through hours of calculations, research, or repeated experiments. It’s the long-term, consistent effort.

    Why it matters in STEM: STEM is rarely a straight line to success. Perseverance means spending countless hours debugging computer programming, even when you’re convinced it’s flawless. Re-running an experiment five times because you’re confident there’s a pattern you’re missing. Staying up late to understand a complex mathematical concept until it finally clicks.

    Example: You struggle with a Chemistry laboratory assignment and are tempted to give up. Your instructor intervenes, not by giving you the answer, but by offering a small suggestion, confirming the difficulty of the task, and requiring you to follow up in an hour. This structured support prevents you from feeling abandoned in your efforts, reinforces the importance of struggle, and teaches you the value of perseverance.

    While the ultimate decision to continue is yours, external factors, the support from your instructor, are essential. The setting of an expectation, the modelling of how to continue in the process, and the structured support act as powerful motivations, transforming your ability to just keep going into an established, automatic behavior (perseverance).

    4. Resilience

    What it is: The capacity to recover quickly from setbacks, disappointments, or outright failures, viewing setbacks not as defining moments but as valuable data and learning opportunities. 

    Why it matters in STEM: Failure isn’t a setback in STEM; it’s a feature. Scientific discovery often involves many “failed” experiments before a breakthrough. Resilience allows you to: bounce back from a low test score, analyze what went wrong, and adjust your study habits.

    Example: It can be challenging for you to picture what “resilience” looks like. Mentors provide a crucial model. When you witness your research advisor’s experiment fail, and instead of getting discouraged, your advisor calmly analyzes the data, identifies the potential sources of error, and immediately starts correcting the issues for the next trial run. These actions model resilience and teaches you how to respond appropriately to setbacks.

    STEM fields are characterized by constant challenges and an emphasis on complex problem-solving. Success relies less on your natural talent and more on your willingness to engage in a productive learning process. And that success rarely comes on the first try. It is common for an experiment to produce unexpected results or a mathematical proof to contain an error. Instead of seeing these setbacks as personal shortcomings, students need the mindsets of resilience and perseverance to see a failure as a starting point.

    Is Initiative, Resolve, Perseverance, and Resilience a Personality Trait or a Learned Skill?

    Initiative, resolve, perseverance, and resilience are generally understood as learned behaviors. Psychologists like Carol Dweck argue that these qualities stem from a Growth Mindset—the belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed, rather than a fixed personality trait.  While some people might appear naturally more determined to manage and learn from their struggles, everyone has the capacity to develop these essential skills. 

    Think of initiative, resolve, perseverance, and resilience as learned skills that, when practiced consistently, become an integral, defining part of your character or personality. For a STEM student, it is critical to recognize the value in treating them as skills that require deliberate practice.

    The Power of Role Models, Mentors, and External Expectations

    The skills of initiative, resolve, perseverance, and resilience isn’t something you can achieve entirely on your own, however you can always begin the process. The most effective and the smoothest path to growth in these areas requires external guidance. Role models, mentors, and the right external expectations act as a vital catalyst in forging these qualities.

    How do role models, mentors, and external expectations cultivate these critical skills? Here are four key examples:

    Observation: Professors, Mentors, and Role Models provide critical “how-to” knowledge. Observing an experienced chemist handle an instrument failure calmly or a scientist gracefully accept and learn from a failed experiment offers a real-world demonstration of resilience and perseverance in action.

    Accountability: External expectations, whether it is from a professor, mentor, or a course syllabus, establish defined goals and deadlines that require action. Taking on a challenging project with its external pressures, its deadlines and reporting requirements, serves as a catalyst. It triggers the initiative needed to start and, crucially, builds the internal resolve and strength required for sustained effort toward completion.

    A Defined Strategy for Success: Effective teachers and mentors avoid simply giving answers. Instead, they offer focused, constructive feedback, guide individuals through roadblocks, and recognize small achievements. This strategic support reinforces successful behaviors, driving long-term competence and success.

    Reinforcement and Feedback: These critical skills are only learned effectively when you receive balanced feedback from your professors and mentors, parents as well – positive reinforcement when you suceed and constructive criticism when you fall short. 

    A Strategy for Your Personal Growth and Success

    As you navigate your academic life and plan for a career in science, technology, engineering, or math, your focus must extend beyond formulas and facts. You need to actively look for opportunities to develop your initiative, resolve, perseverance, and resilience. So take action with the following approach:

    1. Embrace the Hard Stuff: Never shy away from difficult assignments or complex projects. Challenges are opportunities in disguise.

    2. Treat Failures as Data: Every setback is not an end, but a valuable data point. Analyze what went wrong and adjust your approach.

    3. Actively Seek Mentors: Find someone whose approach to challenges inspires you, and commit to learning from their wisdom and experience.

    4. Practice Self-Reflection: When things get tough, take a moment to ask yourself: How did I react? What could I do differently next time?

    Conclusion

    These qualities are not just career buzzwords; they are the foundation of personal growth and the essential fuel for scientific discovery and innovation. The combination of strong grades and these four psychological attributes is what ultimately separates a good student from future success in their career path, capable of making a difference in a STEM field. Cultivate them, and you will do more than just succeed in STEM; you will thrive in every aspect of your life.

  • Beyond the Textbook: Why Critical Thinking is Your Ultimate STEM Skill

    Beyond the Textbook: Why Critical Thinking is Your Ultimate STEM Skill

    As a STEM student, you’re constantly immersed in data, complex equations, and technical concepts. You’ve known and mastered the Scientific Method—observing, hypothesizing, experimenting, and concluding—but that structured process is only half the battle. The other, perhaps more crucial, half is Critical Thinking. While the Scientific Method is a rigid framework for inquiry, critical thinking is the flexible process that drives it. It’s the difference between merely memorizing a formula and truly understanding its foundations and limitations. For you, this means going beyond rote learning to actively and skillfully analyze, synthesize, and evaluate the information you encounter in the lab, the lecture hall, and the world around you.

    This analytical mindset comprises several core skills essential to your future, regardless of which career path you choose.. 

    First, you must develop a relentless habit of questioning information. Don’t just question external sources; turn that rigorous examination onto your own work. You must constantly ask: Is this data truly reproducible? Are my initial assumptions that led to this result reliable? This internal skepticism is key. 

    Second, the ability to perform careful error analysis is primary. This means moving past simply reporting a “failed” test and instead recognizing the subtle flaws in your experimental design, data collection methods, or calculations. Master the ability to identify the sources of error in your experiment. This isn’t about placing the blame on yourself or others; it’s about learning and improving. 

    Third, you must effectively evaluate information sources. When researching a project, learn to distinguish sound, evidence-based conclusions from claims based upon false assumptions or bias. This skill is vital when designing an experiment or reading specialized technical literature.

    Real-world Example: Evaluating an Information Source

    A thoughtful, analytical evaluation of an Information source serves as an excellent example of applying this critical evaluation skill—essential for navigating the complex media environment today. All too frequently, we accept what we encounter online or on message boards as fact. Regardless of whether we agree with the content or not, we rarely take the time to determine its validity. This requires a rigorous assessment of the information’s credibility, accuracy, and fairness. 

    Your process begins with understanding who the source is; this means performing quick additional research to assess who created the content, including the purpose behind the creation of the content and any editorial bias, while verifying the author’s expertise. Highly sensational headlines or anonymity should immediately raise your suspicion. 

    Next, shift your focus to fact-checking the content itself. Examine the quality of evidence, looking specifically for hard data, statistics with cited methodologies, and primary sources, while simultaneously checking the language for emotional arguments or wording that signals an intent to persuade or distract you intentionally, versus simply reporting objectively. 

    Finally, your evaluation must thoroughly assess the argument’s fairness and completeness. This means checking that the source acknowledges and fairly represents opposing viewpoints, offers criticized parties a chance to respond or rebut the information or opinion, and avoids relying on unstated, implied assumptions.

    Ultimately, this comprehensive process moves you beyond merely accepting the Information as fact, leading you to an informed decision about the material’s actual validity and practical usefulness.

    Conclusion

    Critical thinking is the key factor that elevates a capable STEM student into an innovative and successful scientist or engineer. It’s the powerful mechanism that allows you to process complex, unstructured data, recognize underlying patterns, and formulate valid logical conclusions where standard solutions may not exist. This skill deepens comprehension and improves retention, translating theoretical concepts into practical, usable knowledge for your future development.

    I strongly urge you to cultivate your expertise in challenging assumptions, analyzing evidence, and applying logical reasoning now. By doing so, you position yourself as an active contributor in your field, not merely a passive learner and recipient of information. As the volume of data and pace of technology accelerate, remember this lasting truth: your most indispensable tool for lifelong learning and effective problem-solving isn’t the newest gadget or a sophisticated piece of machinery. It is your inherent capacity to think in an evidence-based, exact, and open-minded manner. 

  • Self-assessment Exercise Three: Identifying Your Expectations and Beliefs

    Self-assessment Exercise Three: Identifying Your Expectations and Beliefs

    For your consideration:

    “Lower expectations do not lead to happiness, no matter how often they are met.”

    – Michael Jordan

    Introduction

    Honest self-reflection is a precursor to self-awareness and the starting point for our discussion of personal growth. To start to know yourself, you need to consider who you are and what’s important to you at this point in your life. This is the third of four exercises designed to encourage you to take the time to think about and identify your goals and motivations. This exercise is designed to help you understand the forces driving your pursuit of a key personal or professional goal. It may help you know yourself better, figure out your goals, and make more informed decisions about your future. It may also help you to develop a stronger sense of purpose and direction in life. 

    Key Points to Remember

    • Be honest with yourself; there are no right or wrong answers, and no judgment is attached to your responses.
    • Take your time with these exercises, thinking about what is important to you and why.
    • As you work through each prompt, take a moment to record your thoughts. These reflections serve as a valuable resource when developing self-awareness.

    Expectations and Beliefs

    Description of the Types of Expectations

    Expectations can be broadly categorized into two types: internal (intrinsic) and external (extrinsic). While there are subtle distinctions between internal and intrinsic, and external and extrinsic, for clarity in this explanation, I will group them together.

    Internal (intrinsic) Expectations

    Internal (Intrinsic) expectations originate within you. These are the personal standards that influence your behavior, performance, and character. They can take various forms. These might include physical goals, such as training for a marathon; a commitment to daily habits like a 10-minute meditation; value-based principles like kindness and honesty; or quality standards, such as the expectation that your work will be perfect when you submit it.

    Your motivation to meet these expectations stems from intrinsic factors such as your personal values, ambitions, self-worth, and the desire for self-improvement. The primary reason is often the desire to meet your own standards for mastering new content or ideas, exploring your passions and interests, your process of personal growth, and a sense of satisfaction. For instance, you might set an expectation to practice the guitar for an hour daily, motivated purely by the love of improving and the music itself, finding your reward in the satisfaction you receive from the activity.

    External (extrinsic) Expectations

    External (extrinsic) expectations originate from outside yourself. They are standards, rules, or requests set by other people, your parents, friends, coworkers, or society in general. For example: a deadline for a project (either in class or at work), your parents or a spouse’s request for you to do a specific household chore, a job description or class syllabus listing how your performance at work or class will be measured, or perhaps a societal standard on how you “should” behave, dress, or define success to be accepted. At its core, with external (extrinsic) expectations, your primary desire is often to meet the standards of others.

    Accountability to others, the pursuit of rewards like promotions or praise, and the avoidance of negative consequences such as disapproval from parents, friends, or bosses, poor grades, or losing a job, are often key internal (intrinsic) motivators for meeting external expectations. External (extrinsic) motivations, by comparison, are generally less fluid and flexible because changing the expectations of others requires you to negotiate the terms of the expectations and seek agreement with another person.

    Bottom Line 

    Your expectations need to be realistic and attainable, plus align with your personal goals and ambitions. You must remain true to yourself and your beliefs and core values, regardless of how difficult it may seem at times. Negotiating expectations is a major component of the personal growth process.

    Prompts

    Prompt #1: 

    Whose expectations have the strongest influence on your life, and that you feel obligated to meet? Are they aligned with your own beliefs and desires? How do you manage those expectations and stay true to your dreams and goals?

    Prompt #2:

    List three things you expect from yourself (for example, I expect myself to spend 30 minutes each day writing). How do these expectations impact your daily decisions and actions? Does meeting your expectations give you self-confidence and encourage you to do more? Or do these expectations overwhelm you? 

    Prompt #3: 

    Think about a recent time when you exceeded an expectation. Did you take time to acknowledge and celebrate that success? If not, why? Recognizing your “wins” is an important component of self-care.

    Prompt #4:

    Think about your expectations for others (friends, family, or people in general). Are these expectations realistic and attainable? How do they align with what you expect from yourself, your goals, and your beliefs? 

    Up Next: Practicing the Art of Self-reflection and Evaluating Your Openness for Change 

    The last set of prompts, part four of the series, will ask you to practice the art of self-reflection and evaluate your openness for change.

  • Self-assessment Exercise One: Identifying Your Dreams and Aspirations

    Self-assessment Exercise One: Identifying Your Dreams and Aspirations

    For your consideration:

    “The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.”

    – Joel Brown

    Introduction

    Honest self-reflection is a precursor to self-awareness and the starting point for our discussion of personal growth. To start to know yourself, you need to consider who you are and what’s important to you at this point in your life. This is the first of four exercises designed to encourage you to take the time to think about and identify your dreams, aspirations, motivations, and expectations. It may help you understand yourself better, figure out your goals, and make more informed decisions about your future. It may also help you to develop a stronger sense of purpose and direction in life. 

    Key Points to Remember:

    • Be honest with yourself; there are no right or wrong answers, and no judgment is attached to your responses.
    • Take your time with each prompt, thinking about what is important to you and why.
    • As you work through each prompt, take a moment to record your thoughts. These reflections can serve as a valuable resource for developing self-awareness.

    Dreams and Aspirations

    Prompt #1: 

    Consider how your dreams define you. Is there a childhood dream that you still hold onto? Ask yourself, why is it important to me? How would it feel to make that dream come true, and what sacrifices would you need to make (if any) to get there?

    Prompt #2:

    Ask yourself, “What am I currently passionate about?, and “What activities/responsibilities give me the most energy and satisfaction?, Who or what do I aspire to be or to do?” Does your happiness depend on living the life or career of your dreams?

    Prompt #3: 

    In the next 5 years, what specific achievement, title, or position must I accomplish, what impact must I have for my family, in my field of study, or in the world in general, that would represent the highest level of success and sense of self-fulfillment for me?

    Prompt #4:

    “What current skills, knowledge, or resources do I possess that will help me achieve this aspiration, and what key areas do I need to develop or acquire?” And, what is my plan to achieve those goals?

    Up Next: Goals and Motivation

    The next set of prompts, part two of the series, will ask you to identify and understand what motivates you to achieve goals you have set for yourself.

  • Personal Growth as a Series of Energy Transformations

    Personal Growth as a Series of Energy Transformations

    The Law of Conservation of Energy

    Have you ever felt completely drained after a project, even a successful one? Or, conversely, felt energized and alive after tackling a difficult challenge? The reason for this might be found in a fundamental law of the universe: the conservation of energy.

    The law of conservation of energy states that energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed from one form to another. The principle of conservation of energy absolutely applies to the process of your personal growth. You can’t get energy out without putting energy in.

    In our chemical reaction analogy for personal growth, this principle is foundational. It means that the personal energy you have is a finite resource that must be accounted for. It can’t simply disappear.

    We can view our personal growth as a series of energy transformations. In this model, you are the most precious resource you have—your personal energy. Personal growth requires an investment of personal energy—your time, effort, focus, and emotional commitment—to initiate and sustain a change. The outcome you get is a direct result of this transformation.

    The key to living the life you desire isn’t about finding more energy; it’s about choosing where to invest the energy you have.

    Exothermic Personal Growth

    An exothermic reaction is one that releases more energy than it takes to get started. Think of a campfire: you invest a small amount of energy to light a match, but the fire then releases a much greater amount of heat and light. 

    Exothermic personal growth is a process that provides a net gain. In a highly efficient “reaction,” your invested energy is transformed into a net gain of new, positive energy. This is the ideal. It’s a process where your small, intentional investment of personal energy leads to a large and rewarding release of positive energy. 

    For example, the challenging work of learning a new skill that brings you joy, taking on a difficult but meaningful project, having a deep, honest conversation with your friend. These actions require effort, but the feeling of accomplishment, connection, and confidence you get in return is a powerful surplus. The emotional reward is far greater than the initial effort.

    Endothermic Personal Growth 

    An endothermic reaction is one that absorbs energy from its surroundings. Think of a chemical cold pack: it needs to absorb energy from the environment to become cold. The process leaves the surroundings with less energy. In a draining “reaction,” your energy is transformed into by-products like stress, frustration, and burnout. You put in a great amount of personal energy, but because the process is inefficient or misaligned with your goals, you are left feeling drained and with a net loss of energy.

    It’s when you are constantly investing a large amount of personal energy into a process or relationship, with very little emotional or mental energy being returned. This could be staying in a job that makes you miserable for too long, trying to earn the approval of someone who constantly criticizes you, or pursuing a goal out of obligation, not because you’re passionate about it. These are processes that leave you feeling drained. The energy you invest is not returned to you, or the products of the “reaction” aren’t worth the cost.

    Key Understanding

    In this analogy, you are the “chemist” of your own life. You can’t create more energy, but you can choose where to direct the energy you have. Your goal is to design a life filled with reactions where a small investment of intentional effort yields a significant release of personal energy, making the entire growth process both powerful and sustainable. To identify and pursue the exothermic reactions that fill you up and provide momentum for the next challenge. Just as importantly, you must recognize and minimize the endothermic reactions that drain your most precious resource: your personal energy.

    Personal Commentary: The Importance of Self-awareness

    I’m a perfect example of how the benefits of exothermic personal growth, such as accomplishment and confidence, can lead to negative outcomes. For much of my life, I have made the most of my God-given intelligence and my ability to grasp and explain complex concepts, gaining recognition and self-confidence. However, as this recognition grew, my self-confidence transformed into arrogance. I stopped recognizing and acknowledging my weaknesses, believing my way the the best or only way and that I no longer needed others’ help. This led me to forge ahead alone, alienating people and ultimately causing my failure. The very processes that were initially energizing became draining, leading to frustration, resentment, and the abandonment of those career paths.

    At the time, I blamed others for my setbacks. Now, with age, wisdom, and a new perspective, I realize I was my own worst enemy. This highlights the critical importance of self-awareness in navigating our lives. It shapes our perspective, ensuring we neither waste our energy nor allow positive, personal growth to become a long-term detriment. Self-awareness is the key to developing our action plan, the specific steps and habits we need to follow, the “procedure” in our chemical reaction analogy of personal growth. 

  • Step-by-Step Procedure for Personal Growth

    Step-by-Step Procedure for Personal Growth

    The key to a successful analysis or experiment is a detailed procedure to follow. First, it provides a list of all the key starting materials you need to gather, along with the quantities of each. Then step-by-step instructions on how to combine these materials. Then details regarding under what conditions the reaction mechanism drives the reaction process to its completion, resulting in the product or products you desire. A quality procedure also lists the byproducts that a reaction process may produce. And finally, a section on sources of error, a detailed description of possible errors that can be made, and the effect of these mistakes on the reaction process, and which products or byproducts are produced.

    I can attest to the fact that writing a quality procedure is a challenging task. I’ve drafted my share of procedures in my career, and I’ve found that it requires extensive hands-on experience performing the chemical reaction process and an in-depth understanding of how each step of the procedure contributes to the overall desired result. More importantly, I found that the sources of error section is the most difficult section to write. Luckily, I was blessed to have college professors whose primary focus was on the documentation of every possible source of error in every experiment we performed and on every lab report we prepared in our advanced chemistry and physics courses.

    Commentary

    So, how does this concept of a detailed procedure apply in our chemical reaction analogy of personal growth? I can honestly say there were points in my life that I had no idea what I was supposed to do, what decision to make, what path to follow.  I wished I had had a detailed procedure to follow, a document that told me what decisions I should make, and when, to obtain the goals, and the success I was seeking. A set of step-by-step instructions defining what skills and traits I needed to possess, and the decisions I needed to make. And more importantly, I could’ve used a sources of error section that identified what mistakes I might make, describing how to, if not avoid them, deal with them constructively and not get sidetracked on my journey. 

    But, as I have learned and become painfully aware of at times, there is no one universal set of instructions we can follow for personal success. While there are plenty of books written on the subject, not one is universally applicable to each of us, with our individual personality traits, gifts, dreams, and aspirations.

    Creating Your Procedure for Personal Growth

    You cannot find a procedure tailored personally for you in a blog, book, or video; you produce it. It’s not a set of instructions someone else has written for your life. Instead, you create it with a combination of self-assessment and a growth mindset, the understanding that there is always more you can learn.

    Step One: Self-assessment

    To begin, you need to develop an awareness of the starting materials component for your personal growth procedure through honest self-assessment –  identifying your strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and natural tendencies (how you react in different situations). This is the initial observation stage, much like in the Scientific Method. 

    Continue to ask yourself: “What have I done in the past that’s worked for me?”, “What approach or actions to address challenges or concerns feels natural to me?”, and “What habits, good and bad, do I tend to fall into?” This self-assessment ensures your approach is personalized and realistic.  Following a generic procedure that works for someone else might produce a result in you that leaves you feeling emotionally, mentally, or physically drained.

    Remember that this journey is yours, and yours alone.

    Step Two: Utilizing a Growth Mindset

    Once you’ve identified your core starting materials, turn your attention outward. See how others have achieved similar goals. Dive into books and articles about what you’re interested in. Find mentors who have already done what you want to do, ask for their input, seek their instruction. And, try to learn from their successes and failures. Figure out what works for them and then make it your own.

    Perfecting Your Procedure: The Scientific Method

    You don’t know what to do at the beginning; you discover it. Your procedure for personal growth is not something you are handed at the beginning of your journey. Instead, your initial procedure is a hypothesis – a best guess based on your self-awareness and research. Through the process of experimentation, analysis, and revision, you refine that hypothesis. The final, tested and proven procedure is the culmination of your observation and learning. It represents the wisdom and practical knowledge you’ve gained from the entire process.

    Your  “procedure”  is not a fixed set of instructions; it is dynamic and constantly changing. As you learn more about yourself and the world around you, your procedure must adapt to who you are and your unique situation at each stage of your personal growth. What works for you today may not be what you need a year from now. Your procedure adapts as you gain new insights, as your world changes, and as your goals evolve.

    This is the power of applying the scientific method to your life: you are constantly running small experiments, collecting data on your results, and refining your methods for the next reiteration. It’s a continuous, cyclical process of learning and adaptation. Your journey of personal growth is ever-evolving; each day brings with it new challenges. Personal growth dictates that who we are today is different than who we were yesterday, and hopefully, tomorrow we will be better than we are today.

  • Weekly Quotation: August 26, 2025: The Smartest Person In The Room Complex

    Weekly Quotation: August 26, 2025: The Smartest Person In The Room Complex

    For your consideration:

    “Just knowing you don’t have the answers is a recipe for humility, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and an eagerness to learn—and those are all good things.”

    – Dick Van Dyke

    Over the years, I mistakenly believed I had all the answers and was the “smartest” person in the room. My arrogance was compounded by my eagerness to dominate conversations and express my views, which only highlighted my lack of knowledge. However, with age came the understanding that true intelligence involves actively listening to others’ opinions and perspectives. There is much to gain if I simply take the time to listen. By humbly acknowledging my shortcomings, refraining from imposing my opinions, and remaining open to alternative approaches, I can cultivate humility and grow in wisdom.

  • Weekly Quotation August 13, 2025: Being Comfortable In Silence

    Weekly Quotation August 13, 2025: Being Comfortable In Silence

    It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

    – Mark Twain

    Truer words have never been said. Learning to be an active listener, and be comfortable in our silence is a valuable skill that most of us, myself included, need to practice daily.

  • Becoming Your Own Personal Growth Architect

    Becoming Your Own Personal Growth Architect

    Your Role as an Architect in Your Personal Growth

    You’re building your personal growth building, and you’re the architect. This “architect” is your guide, turning your dreams into a clear vision of what you want to achieve. You acting as your personal growth architect will create a “blueprint” for your development, showing you the structure and key parts of your metaphorical building. Making sure your goals are solid and well defined, explaining how your dreams and goals create a strong foundation for your motivation and expectations, which then helps you move forward.

    But this role of an architect isn’t just about getting things done; it also focuses on how you experience your journey. It ensures everything lines up with who you want to be, both personally and publicly, making your whole growth process real and rewarding. As you start putting your plans into action, this architect offers a blueprint to follow, providing guidance, keeping you on track, helping you adjust, and making sure everything fits with your overall strategy.

    Ultimately, your growth blueprint helps you be clear on your vision, create a smart plan, connect different parts of your development, and finally build the life you imagine. Your growth architect could be your inner self, or a mentor, a coach, or even a structured way of thinking about yourself and your future. Regardless of who assumes the role of your personal growth architect, the blueprint design process begins with self-awareness.

    The Role of Self-awareness

    The most significant component in designing your blueprint for personal growth is self-awareness. It is the prerequisite—our knowledge of who we are and what we desire—on which our blueprint is based.

    Self-awareness can be a complex idea, but consider it this way: I know I want to grow a vegetable garden (self-awareness), versus with my role as an architect on this project, which involves the actual design (blueprint), selecting the plants, and determining their care.

    Self-awareness allows me to understand what I want to do and why I want to do it, my dreams, aspirations, goals, motivations, and expectations. In this particular example, it involves asking: Why do I want a garden? Why is it important to me? What do I expect it to look like? How soon do I want it ready? Once this groundwork is complete, only then can I take on the role of the architect and prepare a blueprint.

    Personal Commentary

    My Dad was a civil engineer. Where an architect works with people wanting to design their new home or businesses wanting to design new office space, my Dad would meet with developers planning new subdivisions, turning their ideas into detailed blueprints for streets, utilities, and home lots. Then, with a survey crew, he’d mark out key locations precisely, giving construction crews exact points to build from. His careful supervision continued until the project was complete.

    I still remember spending Saturday and Sunday afternoons helping my Dad in the field, measuring distances between property lines, new home foundations, utility lines, and easements. I really liked the work, so much so that during college summers, I’d join a survey crew for the Kentucky State Department of Highways, where my Dad was the District Engineer. It allowed me to use the math and physics concepts that I enjoyed from college. Why I didn’t follow in my Dad’s footsteps and become a civil engineer, I don’t know. I guess, like all of us, I needed to find my own path in life.

    I wish I had learned to create a clear blueprint for my life’s dreams and aspirations—something with defined goals and objectives, ways to track my progress, and built-in accountability. Back in college, some of my friends were way ahead of me on this. One good friend, who’s a doctor now, followed in his Dad’s footsteps. He showed up at Centre with a complete and detailed academic plan, knowing exactly which classes he needed for medical school and how hard he’d have to work to achieve the grades he wanted. He even found friends who shared his views to team up with, keeping each other accountable and supporting one another through tough times.

    Looking back, I spent my years throughout high school and my freshman year at Centre unsure of my direction. It wasn’t until my sophomore year, when I met Dr. Walkup, that I found a true mentor. He guided me, set clear expectations for success, and, crucially, held me accountable. Forty-five years later, in my late 60’s, I’d like to believe I know what I’m doing, but sometimes I still have my doubts. Even now, I find myself still searching for a blueprint on how to be the best father, grandfather, husband, and person I can be.